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Band 5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper ones. Do you agree or disagree?

#clothes #lots #ones
there are some factors for
buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
 expensive
clothes
 or cheap
clothes
 and each other have many reasons for buy. I believe that expensive
clothes
 can
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 rather than cheaper
clothes
. On the one side, buying expensive
clothes
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 two achievements. One of the primary arguments for buying a few expensive
clothes
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the quality material and durability that often comes with higher-priced items.
This
 means that you may end up spending less money in the long run, as you won't have to replace your
clothes
 as often. Another Argument is related to style and fashion. Because, it is often associated with high-end designers and luxury brands, which can offer unique and trend-setting designs. On the other side, buying more cheap
clothes
 depends on two arguments.
First,
Cost is very important. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 a few costs
for made
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 these
clothes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers
show examples
 can produce a lot of
clothes
 and
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 can buy
different
Correct word choice
apply
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several cheap
clothes
.
Second,
the production of any clothing has an environmental impact. I saw a documentary about it that in recent years, there has been a growing awareness of the ethical and environmental implications of clothing production. cheap clothing
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not from reputable brands may not adhere to higher ethical and environmental standards,
such
 as fair
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 practices and sustainable sourcing. In conclusion, it is better to buy just a few expensive
clothes
 or lots of cheaper ones
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on your personal values and circumstances. If you prioritize quality, fashion, and design, it may make sense to invest in more expensive
clothes
.
However
, Cost and environmental impact have
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 effect
for buy
Change preposition
on buying
show examples
 cheaper
clothes
. Ultimately, the most important thing is to buy
clothes
 that you love and that make you feel good.
Submitted by lavasania49 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details for better coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure that they are directly relevant to the topic.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure that the words used are suitable for formal writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and use a variety of sentence types to demonstrate grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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