More students decided to take a part-time job when they go into universities. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
More college students choose to have a
part- time
Add a hyphen
part-time
work
by the time they attend third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
education
. This
essay will explain that this
is a positive development because this
might help them to get skills
on
the academic area they will have a degree and Change preposition
in
this
might help them to be more conscious on
the importance of obtaining a degree.
Change preposition
of
Firstly
, having a part-time job
might help some students to obtain more skills
in the area they are going to have a degree, so this
might help them to find a suitable job
in the near future. Many companies ask their employees to have job
experience if they want to work
, and by
having a previous Change preposition
apply
job
might help to be hired. More importantly, if they lack of
Remove the preposition
apply
job
experience, the chances to get hired are low. For instance
, nowadays in the United States, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
companies ask their employees to submit a resume that Correct article usage
apply
explain
their Change the verb form
explains
job
experiences on
the position they are looking for.
Another positive development is that many Change preposition
in
student
might become aware of the importance of getting a Change to a plural noun
students
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
education
because they were hired with a minimun
salary and needed to Correct your spelling
minimum
work
hard. This
experience might help them to focus on their study because they are looking to work
less and earn a high paying
salary. Add a hyphen
high-paying
Also
, they might see the necessity to finish their education
as soon as posible
to have Correct your spelling
possible
a
better Correct article usage
apply
job
opportunites
. Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunity
For instance
, most of the people who have no university education
earn the
Correct article usage
a
minimun
salary because they Correct your spelling
minimum
are lacked of
Wrong verb form
lack
skills
, so some of them need to have two jobs during the day.
In conclusion, there are many positive aspects for those students who attend university and decided
to have a part-time Wrong verb form
decide
job
because this
might lead to have
Wrong verb form
having
job
experiences and develop
new Wrong verb form
developing
skills
as well as
appreciate the opportunity to obtain a third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
education
and make more money than the rest of the population.Submitted by cuevas14dic on
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task response
The essay contains some relevant points but lacks depth and clarity. The introduction and conclusion need to be stronger and more coherent. The main points are not fully developed, and the examples need more specificity to tie in with the main arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear although it lacks coherence and cohesion. The ideas are not well connected and transitions between paragraphs are weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and this affects the overall coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but there is room for improvement. The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there is a lack of variety and precision. Some expressions are repetitive and lack sophistication, which affects the overall quality of the writing.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is sufficient, but there are some noticeable errors in sentence structure and tense usage. The punctuation is inconsistent, and the essay lacks complexity in the use of sentence structures. Further attention to grammatical accuracy and range is necessary to enhance the quality of writing.
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