IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some teachers think that international student exchange would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

#teachers #student #exchange #school #students
Nowadays, exchange student programs are becoming more common. Some teachers believe
this
 trend would be good for all ages of
students
, but others say the opposite. In my opinion,
although
this
 situation may bring some benefits, I argue they are overshadowed by the drawbacks. On the one hand, it can not be denied that studying in a new nation is a great experience for
students
 to widen their horizons. Living in another location ,
students
 have more chances to interact with new cultures and people.
Therefore
,
students
 become more open-minded and tolerant of different opinions, which is a foundation for their development in future.
In addition
, teenagers could be more independent when living without
parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
show examples
 help.
However
,
this
 trend would bring pressure to both migrating teenagers and their parents.
Firstly
, young people have many difficulties in adapting to a new environment. They have to face a wide range of issues
such
 as culture shock and missing home, leading to youngsters feeling stressed and isolated.
Besides
, parents of those exchange
students
 must spend a huge amount of money on accommodation and education costs for their children.
Consequently
, it puts
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pressure on family’s budgets, especially with low and middle-income families. In conclusion, swapping
students
 between countries has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
,
although
students
 would have new experiences,
this
 trend may impact negatively on their mental health and parents’ budgets.
Submitted by ieltsamiedu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth in discussing the advantages and disadvantages. It is important to provide a more balanced and detailed discussion of both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion lack clarity and coherence. Additionally, the supporting points could be better connected for a smoother flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement in using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices to enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates basic grammatical competence, but there are instances of errors and awkward phrasing. Attention to sentence structure and usage of complex structures would improve the overall fluency of the writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: