In many countries, a prison sentence is considered as the best way to decrease crime. However, education is often argued as a more effective way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The number of
crime
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crimes
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is increasing around the world. Many people argue that the best way to solve
this
problem is an education or a law
likes
Wrong verb form
like
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a prison sentence.
This
essay will discuss both of two views and will give reasons from experiences.
To begin
with, how
an
Correct your spelling
can
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education help us to solve
this
problem
.
Change the punctuation
?
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First of all,
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Task Response
The introduction should clearly state the position and outline the main points to be discussed in the essay. The essay should be organized with clear main points, suitable supporting ideas, and a conclusion that summarises the main points and gives the writer's opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is not clear, and the introduction and conclusion are vague. The main points are not supported effectively, causing confusion and lack of coherence.
Lexical Resource
Lexical resource needs improvement. The essay lacks variety in vocabulary and relies on repetitive language. Avoid using the same words or expressions and aim for a wider lexical range.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical range is limited. The essay contains a number of grammatical errors and lacks complexity in sentence structure. Use a wider range of grammatical structures and demonstrate a more accurate and natural use of English.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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