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Writing Samples
Band 5

Accidents are common on roads. What are the causes of this problem? Can you speculate the effects of this phenomenon and how could the frequency of accidents be reduced?

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Recently,
accidents
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happen
Wrong verb form
have happened
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 a lot on the street and
people
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 are suffering from the possibility of
accidents
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becomes increasing
Verb problem
apply
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.
This
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 essay discusses
about
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apply
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the reasons
of
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for
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accidents
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 and ways to reduce the rates of
accidents
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. To commence with,
this
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 circumstance originated from the fact that the process of getting a
driver
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driver's
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 license is too easy. In Korea, the rate of passing the
test
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 is almost 97 per cent. It followed that drivers don’t have
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
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 expertise and skills which are essential for driving.
Moreover
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, the transportation system is lax
that
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and
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people
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 don’t seriously consider breaking a law.
In other words
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, the public easily
break
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breaks
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 the laws
such
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 as following the traffic lights
,
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apply
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 and diminishing the speed when they are in a busy situation. To reduce
accidents
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, I would assert two solutions. First and foremost, the government should make complicated
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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. To pass the exam, drivers should be educated precisely about the safety of
transportations
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transportation
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, and
practiced
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practice
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 hard
about
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apply
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driving and parking skills. When
people
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 notice
about
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apply
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how driving can
make
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cause
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 dangerous and unexpected situations, they can be more keen about driving.
Secondly
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, establishing strong
punishment
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 is essential. One of the reasons
people
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 break the law easily is that they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not afraid of weak
punishment
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. If the government fine much,
people
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would
Wrong verb form
will
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 follow it and violators will not repeat the same behaviour.
For example
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, Singapore is well-known
about
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for
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 strong
punishment
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 and the rates of
accidents
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 are low compared to other countries. In conclusion, the lax
of
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apply
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driver
Change noun form
driver's
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 license
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 and
weak
Correct article usage
the weak
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punishment
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of
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for
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 breaking
Correct article usage
the rule
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rule
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rules
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 of transportation made
accidents
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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common on the street.
Therefore
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, if the government adjusts the system and
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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driving the rates will be reduced in the future.

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Task Response
Address all parts of the task. Present a clear and well-structured response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain clear and consistent coherence and cohesion throughout the response. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve logical structure.
Lexical Resource
Enhance your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise and varied expressions.
Grammatical Range
Expand your range of complex structures and demonstrate more control of grammar and punctuation.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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