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Band 4

Some people think that eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #meat #health
Nowadays, many individuals prefer to eat
meat
 in a single day. Some societies believe that consuming
meat
 is awful for
health
.
However
, in my perspective, eating
meat
 gives several benefits to our well-being.
On the contrary
, some citizens suppose that there were a lot of cons.
Firstly
, As we cook food we need to use high temperatures for burning which can link to cancer.
As a result
, may lead to DNA damage
due to
 absorption of heat-damaged DNA from these foods.
Secondly
,
meat
 is high in fat
as well as
 high cholesterol which leads to develop fatty deposits in your blood vessels.
Moreover
, it causes heart disease which it was really dangerous and a risk to your life.
On the other hand
,
meat
 is very important to our
health
 as it contains plenty of protein, leading
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 growth and development in individuals.
Also
, certain essential compounds can only be found in
meat
.
For instance
, it provides iron, zinc , and vitamin B that our
health
 needs for balancing
as well as
 insurance against
health
 issues. So if we can minimize and balance how to eat, it would be very merit to our welfare. In conclusion, though many people argue that
meat
 dishes are bad for
health
,
meat
 itself is an excellent source of protein.
Therefore
, it is not poor for
health
, and we should eat in the best approach.
Submitted by Jinyada5910 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and coherence. Ensure that the introduction provides a clear stance on the topic and a preview of the main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat developed, but there is a need for better organization and coherence in presenting the ideas. Ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The support for the main points is evident, but the ideas could be better linked to each other to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The response addresses the task to some extent, but the points could be more clearly presented and developed to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The ideas presented are mostly relevant to the topic, but there is a need for clearer and more comprehensive development of the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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