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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalisation outweigh the drawbacks?

#world #village #boundaries #trade #communication #globalisation
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These days, the world is heading towards a borderless state to trade and exchange messages.
Although
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this
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 process can potentially threaten local candidates in the job market, I personally believe that globalisation has more merits than setbacks in terms of boosting exports and campaigning tourism.
One
Use synonyms
 of the most notable drawbacks
from
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of
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 unionised nations is the rising competition in a country's job market which results in leveraging unemployment level.
One
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 of the examples is the ASEAN Economic Community which was established in 2015 and triggered controversies
within
Change preposition
among
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 the experts and workers
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since it was written in the
bluperint
Correct your spelling
blueprint
 that
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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 from
one
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 ASEAN country could seamlessly move and work to another region without additional requirements.
Consequently
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, the workforce in a nation had to compete with many other candidates from various parts of the region. People who have less competencies will have no jobs in their own lands.
On the contrary
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, blurring the boundaries between countries can bring many benefits to a nation's economy.
Firstly
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, the ease of building partnerships among nations can potentially boost exports.
For instance
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, Indonesia will be
one
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 of the main suppliers of nickel and footwear for the United Kingdom,
due to
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 the openness of both governments to establish bilateral agreements.
Thus
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, expanding the target markets of many local enterprises and contributing to economic growth.
Subsequently
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, globalisation will be very beneficial for tourism marketing purposes. With the help of social media, promoting Indonesian landscape and culture can be done effectively by posting the beauty of its beaches, mountains, waterfalls, and cultural diversity on the internet.
To conclude
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, it is undeniable that the world is moving towards
a globalised nations
Correct the article-noun agreement
a globalised nation
globalised nations
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 with
less
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fewer
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 boundaries. Even though the threat of unemployment keeps haunting as a solid consequence, its advantages towards local businesses' export achievements and tourism promotion heavily outweigh the drawbacks. To tackle
this
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 issue, the local government is expected to provide safety nets for the well-being of its inhabitants and prepare them to face globalisation.
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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