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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. Summarize the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. Summarize the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportion #carbohydrates #protein #three #diets #features #comparisons
The given three pie charts provide information
of
Change preposition
on
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 sharing the nutrients in distinct foods.
Overall
,
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
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 contributed most to the food contents, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fat made up the smallest part of the chart as the nutrition. First of all, the feature
intersect
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intersects
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 into three parts it was consist of average
diet
, healthy
diet
, and healthy
diet
 for sport. Each
of
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apply
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diet
 content has three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
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 of
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
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,
such
 as, carbohydrates,
protein
, and fat. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, carbohydrates substantially dominated all the
diet
 categories followed by
protein
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place,
however
, carbohydrates turn significantly into essentials nutrition, which is accounted for 80% of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
 for
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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,
in contrast
, the
protein
 in
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
 for
sport
Add an article
a sport
show examples
 turns into
smallest
Add an article
the smallest
show examples
 number of needed if compared with
protein
 in other contents,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 average
diet
andhealthy
Correct your spelling
and healthy
diet
.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fat was the least significant part of the
diet
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made up 15% &
20
Correct word choice
and 20
show examples
% of nutrition in the
diet
 content respectively.
Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words diet, protein with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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