IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. Summarize the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the proportion of carbohydrates, protein and fat in three different diets. Summarize the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportion #carbohydrates #protein #three #diets #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given three pie charts provide information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sharing the nutrients in distinct foods.
Overall
Linking Words
,
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
 contributed most to the food contents, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fat made up the smallest part of the chart as the nutrition. First of all, the feature
intersect
Change the verb form
intersects
show examples
 into three parts it was consist of average
diet
Use synonyms
, healthy
diet
Use synonyms
, and healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 for sport. Each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 content has three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as, carbohydrates,
protein
Use synonyms
, and fat. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, carbohydrates substantially dominated all the
diet
Use synonyms
 categories followed by
protein
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place,
however
Linking Words
, carbohydrates turn significantly into essentials nutrition, which is accounted for 80% of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 for
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
protein
Use synonyms
 in
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 for
sport
Add an article
a sport
show examples
 turns into
smallest
Add an article
the smallest
show examples
 number of needed if compared with
protein
Use synonyms
 in other contents,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 average
diet
Use synonyms
andhealthy
Correct your spelling
and healthy
diet
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fat was the least significant part of the
diet
Use synonyms
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made up 15% &
20
Correct word choice
and 20
show examples
% of nutrition in the
diet
Use synonyms
 content respectively.
Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words diet, protein with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: