With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. To what extent do you agree.

#access #internet #media #websites #children #situations #adults #limit

There is no denying the fact that

internet

and social media websites can be a debatable subject.

While

it is a commonly held belief that access to the

internet

for

children

should be limited by adults. there is

also

an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider the

internet

and social media websites can have a positive effect by strict rules on how to use them.

To begin

with,

Children

may be exposed to inappropriate content online.

In other words

, nowadays, there are a lot of advertisements meant for adults but they appear for

children

too.

In addition

, they may be targeted by online predators.

For example

, it is easy now for anybody to talk to them by Messagesing them in the games app or any app so the parents should know how to protect their

children

. Another point to consider is that excessive

internet

use can negatively impact

children

's physical and mental health. It is

also

possible to say that, it can

also

have a bad effect on their academic achievement in school.

Moreover

, Education about online safety should be incorporated into the school curriculum.

For instance

,if they have been in any dangerous situations they will know how to act correctly. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that adults should learn to limit access to the

internet

for their

children

, I suggest that the parents take a course to learn how to protect their

children

especially if they do not have any experience.

Submitted by abdelaah.12 on Wed Nov 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The task is only partially addressed. The essay discusses both sides of the argument but does not clearly present a stance. It is important to clearly express a position and justify it with relevant examples.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure is evident, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs and their connection to the overall argument could be improved for better coherence.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and attempts to use a mix of simple and complex structures. However, there is a need for greater variety and precision in word choice, as well as more accurate and sophisticated sentence structures.

grammatical range

The grammar and sentence structure are generally appropriate, but there are errors in verb tense and sentence construction. The use of punctuation and sentence complexity can also be improved to convey ideas more clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

dangerous situations
limit access to the internet
inappropriate content
online predators
physical and mental health
monitoring and guiding
online safety
school curriculum

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
These days people spend more than more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
There is no denying the fact that the main impact of work is debatable. It is argued that people recently are spending more time at work than they do at home. In this essay I will discuss why working more can allow for a more flexible financial status, but also can affect both, social and physical health.
6.5
band
Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion
People have different views about whether noise can be made by people as much they want, or it can be hardly controlled. While making noise is obvious, I believe that making unnecessary noise should be prohibited.
7.5
band
Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.
In this modern era,with the help of new technologies such as phones and tablets it is easier for people to watch films at home which is cost-efficient while others think that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. we will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraph. In my opinion, watching the cinema at home is a positive trend which helps you to save money and time.
7.5
band
Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others sy it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give yto our opinion.
It is considered by some that the duty to keep the cleanliness and sanitation of an area falls upon the people living there, whereas some argue that it is the work of national councils. Although the country has some duty to maintain sanitation, I believe that the local people also need to take part in this.
4.5
band
‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly , so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. Do you agree or disagree with the given statement ?
There are a lot of disesae in the world and that diseases’ cures are very high. If they can found preventative from these diesase, it will be cheaper and more sensible. I think, absolutely researchers should study on the preventative and it will be more beneficial for world.

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. To what extent do you agree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days people spend more than more time at work and less time at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.

Some people think residents should keep their streets clean and tidy while others sy it is government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give yto our opinion.

‘’Prevention is better than cure.’’ Researching and treating diseases is too costly , so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. Do you agree or disagree with the given statement ?