IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is considered by some that,
acceptable
Correct article usage
the acceptable
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 for marriage should be
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
 of 21 years but others oppose
thet
Correct your spelling
that
this
Linking Words
 is not a valid
criteria
Correct the article-noun agreement
criterion
show examples
. I agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should get married on or after their 21s because of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 maturity and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial readiness.
Firstly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 at
age
Use synonyms
 21 will be considered as
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
 because most of them will be at their graduation or under-graduation level and
also
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 have adequate knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
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, they will be eligible for the marriage.
Moreover
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, everyone
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be
financial
Change the adjective
financially
show examples
 independent to survive in
this
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 society with respect so, at
this
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stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 there is more possibility to get
settle
Change the form of the verb
settled
show examples
 in life.
For example
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, if a bride is equally educated and
earning
Wrong verb form
earns
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Linking Words
along with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 her husband
then
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 her family will be financially in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 position.
On the other hand
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,
people
Use synonyms
 married before 21s will face
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of problems
due to
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 lack of maturity and financial issues. Specifically, it may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to divorce
due to
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 insufficient knowledge of life and circumstances.
For instance
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, in
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 places parents always prefer child marriages for their
daughter
Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
show examples
 and it may
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 suicide
due to
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in-laws
Change noun form
in-laws'
in-law's
show examples
harrasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
. On top of it, at
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
age
Add a comma
age,
show examples
 human can not
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 correct decisions in their life.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, the government should run strict rules to restrict the minimum
age
Use synonyms
 of marriage to 21
then
Linking Words
 only
people
Use synonyms
 will concentrate on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 education and career.
For example
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
 law, the parents will encourage their children to focus more on studies and
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and it
also
Linking Words
 improves the country's economy.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some relevant points and examples, but it lacks a clear overall structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be connected logically to the next.
task response
While you have presented some relevant arguments, your response needs to be more complete and comprehensive. Make sure to address all aspects of the question and provide a clear overall stance.
lexical resource
Your essay lacks a wide range of vocabulary and uses some expressions and collocations inaccurately. Work on expanding your vocabulary and using academic language more effectively.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and word choice. Review the basics of English grammar and pay attention to sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • maturity
  • responsibility
  • stability
  • educational goals
  • career aspirations
  • financial independence
  • marital responsibilities
  • relationship stability
  • divorce rates
  • informed decisions
  • emotional maturity
  • health implications
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