IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

There are many ways to find a job: newspaper advertisements, internet job search web sites, and personal recommendations. What do you think is the best way to find a job? Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

#job #newspaper #advertisements #internet #search #web #sites #recommendations #support
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There is an argument that nowadays have so many possibilities to look for a new
job
,
such
 as through newspapers, the internet, by indication, and other ways. I partially agree with
such
 a point of view because even though all the ways mentioned before are correct to get an opportunity in the
work
 environment, some of them are more remarkable,
consequently
,
people
 can change their careers. On the one hand, finding a placement in the
job
 market by networking is always the right direction to go,
due to
 the fact that it improves relationships among individuals,
thus
 it is better to gain a new position in the
job
 market.
For example
, it is estimated that 70% of
people
 who search for a new position find their current
work
 by networking which results in improved knowledge and increased business.
On the other hand
,
job
 websites are the best way to communicate with
people
 all over the world, because they reduce the distance between human beings and show opportunities in another nation,
therefore
 anyone is able to get a
job
 even in another country.
For instance
, it is known that in Latin America mostly of individuals obtain their
work
 through search on the Internet.
To conclude
, I do believe that taking an opportunity to
work
 by personal indication through networking is a formidable situation, in spite of searching for a
job
 in web sites can bring a variety of chances in the market. Ideally, not only should I think that finding a new position becomes easier when
people
 have connections but
also
 looking for
work
 on the internet can be able to reach an international career.
Submitted by aracellyfontes on

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Task Response
Your essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and provides some relevant points. However, your arguments could be more developed, and your examples could be more specific and detailed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are supported. However, the logical structure of your essay could be improved for better coherence and cohesion. Consider organizing your ideas in a more structured and connected manner.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision of vocabulary. Try to incorporate more advanced and specific vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
Your essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. To improve your grammatical range, work on using a wider variety of sentence structures and more accurate grammar throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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