Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an argument that educational institutions teach common
subjects
,
such
as history and math and that it is better to spend time promoting classes with
subjects
that involve professional practical courses. I partially agree with
such
a point of view, because even though it is important that
schools
teach trivial matters,
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of learning must prepare youngsters for the future by teaching about the job market. On the one hand, it is essential that
schools
prepare
students
based on traditional
subjects
, because it stimulates logical and critical thought,
consequently
improving the education of the general population.
For example
, it is estimated that 40% of scholars in Latin America who graduate from traditional
schools
obtain high positions in the government, because of the sense of citizenship they build in history classes at school.
On the other hand
,
schools
must provide skills related to business, because it can help
students
to take a chance on an outstanding job opportunity when they finish their studies,
therefore
it will improve their chances of becoming more competitive in the job market.
For instance
, it is known that in the USA most graduate
students
find a position easily after college,
due to
the fact that they can develop leadership skills and are able to analyze and solve complex problems,
thus
students
can grow professionally.
To conclude
, I do believe that educational institutions must teach traditional
subjects
to develop a critical view, in spite of the importance of teaching life skills. Ideally, not only should
schools
prepare
students
to achieve their personal goals, but
also
value common content as a facilitator for building education.
Submitted by aracellyfontes on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the task, providing some relevant points but lacking a clear and consistent opinion. The response should express a clear and balanced viewpoint throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with an introduction and conclusion. However, the lack of clear opinion affects the cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary and uses some appropriate academic phrases. However, there are instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing that affect the clarity of expression.
grammatical range
There are some errors in sentence structure, word choice, and verb tense consistency. Proofreading is necessary to avoid these grammatical errors and improve overall accuracy.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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