Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #society #haven #element #world

People

have pursued the ideal

society

for a long time. There are some vital factors for

this

goal and, in

this

essay, I will enumerate them and suggest several ways to achieve it.

To begin

with, there are some necessities to attain an impeccable

society

. For one thing, the redistribution of wealth plays a decisive role in a perfect

society

, which rectifies disproportionate competition in the free market economy.

This

can mitigate not only the gap between the rich and the poor but

also

unbalanced opportunities.

Therefore

, it provides life above the subsistence level in a humanitarian way and makes fair chances, redeeming

people

from torpidity. Aside from that, strong and just laws are another key

mainly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

put forward. They can make

people

well conform to legislation through the establishment of a commonly standardized social order.

Furthermore

, many crimes can be eradicated by sequestering criminals from innocent

people

In addition

to the components mentioned above, as far as I am concerned, there are a few measures to accomplish the desirable

society

Firstly

people

should have sympathy for the poor, showing generosity

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to them.

This

is because

this

approach

developes

Correct your spelling

develops

developed

society

in ways to not drop out the weak.

Furthermore

, if the affluent sympathize with the unprivileged, they are willing to pay more taxes for redistribution.

Secondly

, democracy can contribute to a better

society

, making

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

laws which can represent the public

due to

the fact that the statutes which all

people

readily abide

need

Change preposition

by need

show examples

the support of the public.

For

this

reason, the only laws enacted by the democratic representatives who stand in for constituents are meaningful and powerful. In conclusion, there are several important elements in order to reach an optimal

society

Additionally

, compassionate and democratic attitudes can be good approaches for

this

aim.

Submitted by moonmond15 on Thu Nov 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion

Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear conclusion summarizing the main points and providing closure to the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that the examples provided are more relevant and specific to the points being made.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
Over the last ten years, western societies have seen close to a 20% rise in the number of children who are overweight. This essay will discuss some reasons why this has occurred and examine the consequences of this worrying trend.
8
band
You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Ask your friend to send you a particular photograph Explain why you need that particular photograph Tell your friend what happened to your copy of it Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Brendan,
How is it going after our vacation? I'm writing this letter to ask you a favour!
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve academical success in order to get into a good university or secure a well paid job. For this reason some people argue that schools need to focus on academic subjects and vocational subjects should therefore not taught at schools. I would argue that while academic skills are important, schools need to teach a wide range of both academic and more skills-based subjects.
6
band
Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, there have been accompanying issues with smoking which can be a considerable cause of severe physical health issues. There are some people who believe that accepting smoking tobacco products including cigarettes should be regulated by a government as this increases a massive risk for society members in indirect smoking including children. However, this can be considered as overstepping if a law might be established at the government level. For this reason, I have different viewpoints from them.
4.5
band
You have reccently moved to another city but your bank has your old address and continues to send all the communication there. Write a letter to your bank Branch. In this letter mention: -Where you have moved? -What problem are you facing regarding the bank's communication? -What do you want them to do regarding old communication already sent to the wrong address
The reason I am writing you this letter is as I am sorry for the Branch.I would like to communication them again, but I do not have the opportunity. This is why I want to disconnect. Already sent me the wrong address.

Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?