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Band 4.5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #centuries
Some
people
 contend that the life quality of the 21st century is far more developed than that of former eras. I utterly agree with
this
 view and I will enumerate my reasons below. First and foremost,
people
 can be able to move around faster and farther because of improvements in transportation.
For example
, the better quality of cars and expanded subways make
people
 transfer the same distance faster. Aside from that, the generalization of flight enables
people
 to travel over continents.
Therefore
,
people
 can
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enjoy their holidays in miscellaneous places,
such
 as serene beaches
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Guam or
attracting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
historical sites in Rome.
Secondly
, innovation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 communication makes
people
 do it regardless of time and space. Unlike telephones in the past, all
people
 have their own cell phones these days,
thus
 everyone can communicate/ keep in touch with wirelessly anytime and anywhere.
Furthermore
, the advent of various communication channels
such
 as YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook makes politicians and other celebrities more exposed to the public.
Hence
,
this
 entertains
people
,
whereas
 they previously connected with the public only through news and television shows.
Lastly
, thanks to the development of technology, doing household chores has become easier. Case in point, every essential domestic device is upgraded. For one thing, vacuum cleaners are converted robotic cleaners and they can clean a house themselves with just one time command.
Moreover
,
remodeled
Change the spelling
remodelled
show examples
 washing machines have various modes of laundry
such
 as wool, silk, linen and so on.
For
this
 reason ,
people
 can wash their clothes without
damage
Wrong verb form
damaging
show examples
 the fabric In a nutshell, I firmly support the idea that the contemporary quality of life is obviously enhanced as there are a lot of positive consequences in our way of life.
Submitted by moonmond15 on

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task resonse coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss. Use paragraphs to develop your ideas more effectively. Provide more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource. Watch out for sentence structure and grammar to ensure more accurate and complex language use.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss. Use paragraphs to develop your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
You have a good range of vocabulary, but try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your sentence structure and grammar are generally accurate, but aim to use more complex sentence structures and a wider variety of grammatical structures to enhance your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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