IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 have a myriad of
choices
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 in their life. I agree with
this
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 point of view because social and economic condition gives
people
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 many options.
Firstly
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, the structure of society has transformed in twenty centuries and it gives us many
choices
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. In the past,
people
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 who were sociable and gregarious knew just their family and their acquaintances or their
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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;
however
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, now they have plenty of options in communication which is challenging to prioritize and choose between them.
For example
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, despite the past when
people
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 had a limited level of relationships, now teens can find new friends from all over the world and choose who is the best option for friendship.
Secondly
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, urbanization and industrial society offer citizens many
choices
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. In the past,
people
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 did not have regular meals and if they had experienced drought, they have starved. In the best conditions, the food for the majority of
people
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 was a simple meal
such
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 as bread and butter or turnip soup,
whereas
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 now
people
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 have too many options
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is too difficult to choose what should eat.
For instance
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, individuals can order a variety of different meals from online food delivery applications based on their diets whether they are vegetarian or exist on the diet of high-protein. In conclusion, some individuals argue that
people
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 in the modern era have a myriad of
choices
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, and it is sometimes difficult to sort out their priorities. I profoundly agree with the point and believe
this
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 condition is prepared
due to
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 social and economic changes in society.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear opinion and introduces the main points, but the conclusion could be more decisive and summarize the main points more effectively.
task achievement
While the essay responds to the prompt and presents clear ideas, some examples are not fully developed and could be more relevant to the main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but transitions between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Additionally, the conclusion is somewhat abrupt and could be more cohesive with the rest of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses complex structures, but there are instances of awkward or unclear phrasing. Some vocabulary could be more precise and tailored to the topic.
grammatical range
While the essay shows a good command of grammar, there are occasional errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and tense consistency. Some sentences are overly complex and could be clarified for better coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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