IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

as well as , making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Agree or disagree ?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
It is not too hard to realize
businesses
 have
also
 an impact on society.
This
 is simply because they have a huge influence on
Add an article
the
show examples
money they can easily control the economy.
Moreover
, a lot of
companies
 donate to needy
people
 from all
ways
Correct your spelling
walks
show examples
 of life. In
this
 day and age , the business has become the main factor in the financial system. So , Losing the balance of marketing depends upon how
companies
 react to their ups and downs.
This
 business can simply effect increasing prices on the marketing. So
this
 obviously has negative effects on the inflation.
However
 , it must not be forgotten that business is beneficial for the country because they have all the cash and banks profit from them. Donating is another key factor that has a strong impact on society and
companies
 are a huge part of
this
 process. Nowadays, a lot of
people
 live in very poor living conditions and suffer from famine. To tackle
this
 situation
businesses
 donate lots of money to poor
people
 to improve their lives as much as possible.
For example
,
companies
 can pay medical bills for
people
 who suffer from health diseases
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cancer or diabetes.In a way, if philanthropic
companies
 become popular it will improve society in all domains,
such
 as finance, education and the environment.
Due to
 the fact that
businesses
 can provide money the organizations that respond to the education or environment. I believe it is everyone’s responsibility to help others if it is possible. In conclusion, it seems to me that everyone has social responsibilities ,including
businesses
 owing to their influence on the country’s economy.And how they supply
Add an article
the
a
show examples
needful community with financial support.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly state the position on the topic. Develop a more focused argument that directly addresses the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and ensure that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise terms. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choice.
Grammatical Range
Check for errors in subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and verb tenses. Use a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence types.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
Look at other essays: