Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..
In the competitive world, people are working hard to prove themselves in many organizations and leaving less
time
for other important activities. This
essay will explain the demerits of this
approach such
as the inability to cope with work
-life balance and ill-health of many individuals
and a few merits like getting fast promotions and business expansion.
To begin
with, firstly
, competition is huge in many corporations therefore
professionals are doing
tireless efforts to prove their abilities which leads to less Verb problem
making
time
for their families and well-being. For example
– a survey conducted by the corporate world to check the gist of employees just to get a real sense of how they feel in terms of work
-life balance, the majority of them feel overburdened with work
leading to less time
for themselves. This
indicates that individuals
feel frustrated and over-utilized with the nature of their work
.
In order to get promoted in a short span of time
, professionals are indulging in many projects along with
daily deliverables which have two-sided benefits, on the one hand, individuals
get fast promotions however
on the other hand
, businesses usually flourish with this
mindset of individuals
. However
, this
approach adds more pressure on them and leads to lesser leisure time
for their families as well as
adds to major issues in their lives that are depression, anxiety, and nervousness. For example
– a report published in the Times of India, indicated that many youngsters are getting nervous disorders problems due to
stressful situations in their work
area. This
is proven that many individuals
are not getting proper mental satisfaction in their lives due to
work
pressure.
To conclude
, in order to get faster promotions and foster growth path professionals are working restlessly which helps business expansion however
, in this
scenario many health issues are creating troubles in their lives. Therefore
, balance should be opted out so that willpower and health will not be suffered
in the long run.Wrong verb form
suffer
Submitted by deep.amans86 on
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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt. It discusses the advantages and disadvantages of working longer hours, but the focus on business growth and fast promotions is not directly relevant to the prompt. It would be beneficial to elaborate more on the impact on leisure activities and personal well-being.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and presents supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion lack clarity and do not effectively frame the essay. Additionally, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to improve coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and effectively conveys the intended meaning. However, there are instances of imprecise language and awkward phrasing that affect the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be improved. Additionally, more varied sentence structures would enhance the grammatical range.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...