Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people.

#world #people #say #population #governments #society

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There is a debate over whether an ageing population is beneficial to society or not. I partly agree with the latter view and

this

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essay will demonstrate that the disadvantages of

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phenomenon supersede the advantages.

To begin

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with, there are some reasons why the increase in the old generation is positive. For one thing, they have invaluable experiences and knowledge, having acquired through their real lives. In terms of education,

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can be applied to the career training of young people, who are immature and experience fewer chances to build up their resume.

Likewise

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, retired people can still play a crucial role in

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apply

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society because of their values as a mentor, making a desirable relationship with the next generation. In spite of the reasons mentioned above, I reckon that the increasing number of elderly gives rise to adverse consequences. First and foremost, national productivity has diminished, aggravating the supply in the labour market.

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is because the rise in ageing people denotes the decrease in the youth, who are economically active populations, leading to the economic recession.

Secondly

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, the financial stability of social

insurance

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such

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as health care

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, employment

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and annuity, has been exacerbated since the number of citizens who work and pay taxes has plummeted.

For

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this

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reason, the degree of

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coverage has

also

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abated. In a nutshell,

it is clear that

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although

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there are a few merits of an

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ageing

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society, the demerits of

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phenomenon related to economic and social reasons outweigh the benefits.

Submitted by moonmond15 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion could be more explicitly stated to fully address the task requirements.

task achievement

Provide more in-depth analysis and examples to fully support and demonstrate the main points.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay's quality and sophistication.

grammatical range

Attempt more complex sentence structures and show greater variety in sentence types.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people.

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports in the media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. Dương.

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantagees of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?