IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #visitors #three #areas #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The Line Graph illustrates
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
tourists
 visiting different areas in a
european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
 country
such
 as the
lakes
,
mountains
 and
coast
 in a
timespan
Correct your spelling
time span
show examples
 of 20 years. In the late 1980s, 40,000
tourists
 prefer to
vist
Correct your spelling
visit
 the
coast
. There is only
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 difference between
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of overseas
visitors
 visiting
mountains
 and
lakes
. In
early
Change the article
the early
show examples
 1990s, There was a steady
increase
 of amount of
visitors
 to the
mountains
 and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a short dip on amount of
visitors
 to the
coast
. Nearly 25,000
tourists
 visit both
mountains
 and
lakes
. From
early
Change the article
the early
show examples
 1990s to
late
Correct article usage
the late
show examples
 1990s, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 an increasing
number
 of
tourists
 visiting both the
coast
 and the
Lakes
. Little
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
visitors
 to the
mountains
 is observed in
this
 time frame. From
late
Change the article
the late
show examples
 1990s,
Number
Correct article usage
the Number
show examples
 of
tourists
 visiting the
lakes
 sky-rocketed and reached its peak in 2002 with almost 80,000
tourists
.
Also
,
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
increase
 in numbers visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
coast
 is recorded and
visitors
 visiting the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
mountains
 was stable from
late
Change the article
the late
show examples
 90s to
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 2000s with
marginal
Add an article
a marginal
show examples
increase
 in
Correct article usage
the mid
show examples
mid 2000s
Add a hyphen
mid-2000s
show examples
. From 2002 to 2007,
Number
Correct article usage
the Number
show examples
 of
tourists
 visiting the
lakes
 saw a slump
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 80,000 to 60,000 and a gradual
increase
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 noticed for the
tourists
 visiting the
coast
.
Submitted by vigvic013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, lakes, mountains, coast, visitors, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: