IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Although
 it is intended by some University pupils to delve into other
subjects
 regardless of their current study
subject
, others argue that
students
 ought to concentrate solely on a specific
subject
 in order to achieve better, qualified academic outcomes. In my point of view, I personally believe that
students
 should be given opportunities to try other
subjects
 simultaneously It is argued by some that learning two
subjects
 at university simultaneously can result in less efficient performance of the learners. To some extent they might be right as some courses,
such
 as Mathematics and Medicines, far diverge in in terms of their defined curriculum.
In other words
, if some medical residents who have been learning about human anatomy show an inclination to take mathematics courses, they would definitely be facing troubles as they have no mathematical background.
Furthermore
, having not concentrated solely on learning about how to treat patients, they would contribute to many deaths in their future careers.
Nevertheless
, despite the fact that major
subjects
,
such
 as Mathematics, Politics and Medicine do not share any equity, we can find numerous similarities among sub-branches of a specific
subject
.
for instance
, both Architecture and urban planning have been taught in the same department of art. By reviewing the curriculum of those two academic disciplines, many equalities can be found.
Thus
, I believe that
students
 of the same major
subject
 should be given the freedom to opt for a double degree as they wish, and
consequently
, they will be offered more job positions in their career life. In conclusion,
while
 many people believe that
students
 should be restricted to their current university
subjects
, I strongly believe that freedom should be given to
students
 who want to earn a dual degree in another
subject
, which is far relative to their current
subject
.
Submitted by parvizrashidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more clear and focused.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger logical structure in the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The response to the task is generally well-developed with relevant examples, but some points could be more comprehensive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: