IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries are becoming same in the terms of
Use synonyms
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
 availability with similar qualities from all the places in the world. Though It is somewhat harmful for old traditional
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 at the same time,
It's
Correct your spelling
Its
show examples
 positive improvements overweight the negative improvements. On the one hand, the developed technologies enable us to live in a world of open trade. It is not impossible to get a Chinese or Indian product in Bangladesh. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the importing channels are open always.
Besides
Linking Words
, different online business platforms are offering people various goods
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a cheaper rate.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they offer free shipping service sometimes. Take Aliexpress as an example - If I order an antique pen, It will cost mostly $10. On top of that If I try to purchase It from a local market, It might cost more than $10 and a long waiting period might be faced. So, in terms of trade and business becoming similar is helpful enough for the countries and customers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, governments will earn a sizable revenue from different foreign companies for their import and export activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, whether the way of ordering and getting different
products
Use synonyms
 is easy, people will not spend their money in local markets.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the cash flow will be somewhat declined.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the availability of foreign
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 will provoke the sellers to enrich their stocks of different
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 which will create a crucial situation for small traders but considering everything the government can help them
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the money earned as revenue of open trade. It is impossible to keep the economy
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
steady without allowing foreign
products
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the markets. If the legal ways are closed customers will use illegal ways. In conclusion, I must admit that the chance of buying
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 from anywhere in the world is a good practice and a positive development for buyers and customers
as well as
Linking Words
 the governments without any doubt.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main topic and the writer's position. The introduction and conclusion should be more explicit.
task achievement
Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt, including both positive and negative aspects of the development. Provide a more balanced view and consider the implications for different stakeholders.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: