The entire world had to quarantine to stop the spread the contagious and deadly virus.

The entire world had to quarantine to stop the
spread
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
contagious and deadly virus.
This
has caused a lot of difficulties, including logistical and medical sectors. One of the speculations on what began the pandemic is that it all began when an ordinary Chinese man decided to eat the bat soup which led to him contracting the disease. Right after that the disease started to
spread
at alarming rates. Only after about a month, there were tens of thousands of people that got infected by it.
Then
the disease would rapidly
spread
to other countries.
This
virus was called COVID-19 by scientists. Humanity began panicking because of what was happening and governments one by one were deciding to shut their borders,
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
demanding mandates on wearing masks and gloves and,
finally
,
force
Wrong verb form
forcing
show examples
everyone to lock their front door and exit their house a few times a week.
Although
that turned out to be effective at
first,
once the quarantine was ruled out, the number of infected population rapidly regained its peak. Staying at home was an obstacle to going to an office or studying at school. To counter that the attempt at online working/learning was made. Video conferences,
assignments
Correct word choice
and assignments
show examples
were introduced to many people and received negative feedback from a bulk of the population. Despite that, some people found that to be convenient and did not resort back to working in the office or in the classroom.
Overall
, the pandemic has proved that the world was not ready to handle it properly and prevent the negative consequences. The
spread
of COVID-19 has
also
led to some permanent changes in society,
such
as the increase in the popularity of working from home.
Submitted by alexander.vectorgs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear organization, and the introduction and conclusion need to be stronger.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task but needs to provide a more comprehensive and clear response.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates varied vocabulary but lacks precision and accuracy in some instances.
grammatical range
The essay has some grammatical errors and lacks complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: