IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
#change #prices #three #metals
The line chart provides information on the percentage of average
price
changes
 of copper,
nickel
, and
zinc
 each month in 2014.
Overall
, the
price
 of copper and
nickel
 generally
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased from the start of the year to the end of the year,
while
zinc
's
price
 increased with fluctuation. In January, the
price
changes
 of copper
stand
Wrong verb form
stood
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2% before it generally decreased approximately to -0.5% in May. There
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 no
changes
 in
price
 from May to
June
 and the
price
 underwent
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
%
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 in
June
 before it remained stable until September.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following month, the
price
 slightly decreased before
rose up
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 again in December to less than 2%
changes
.
On the other hand
, the
price
changes
 on
Nickel
 started high in January with 6%,
while
Zinc
 was only 1%.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following month, the
changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Nickel
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 dramatically
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 March to 1% and it remained stable
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 April before it slightly decreased
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 May and fell to -3% by
June
. Meanwhile,
Zinc
's prices increased to 3%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 February and gradually decreased
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
June
 to -1%. Both
Nickel
 and
Zinc
's prices underwent up and down before
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached the final
price
changes
 in December with 1% in
Nickel
 and 2% in
Zinc
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, changes, nickel, zinc, june with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 8 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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