IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
#change #prices #three #metals
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The line chart provides information on the percentage of average
price
Use synonyms
changes
Use synonyms
 of copper,
nickel
Use synonyms
, and
zinc
Use synonyms
 each month in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
price
Use synonyms
 of copper and
nickel
Use synonyms
 generally
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased from the start of the year to the end of the year,
while
Linking Words
zinc
Use synonyms
's
price
Use synonyms
 increased with fluctuation. In January, the
price
Use synonyms
changes
Use synonyms
 of copper
stand
Wrong verb form
stood
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2% before it generally decreased approximately to -0.5% in May. There
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 no
changes
Use synonyms
 in
price
Use synonyms
 from May to
June
Use synonyms
 and the
price
Use synonyms
 underwent
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
%
Use synonyms
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 in
June
Use synonyms
 before it remained stable until September.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following month, the
price
Use synonyms
 slightly decreased before
rose up
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 again in December to less than 2%
changes
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
price
Use synonyms
changes
Use synonyms
 on
Nickel
Use synonyms
 started high in January with 6%,
while
Linking Words
Zinc
Use synonyms
 was only 1%.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the following month, the
changes
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Nickel
Use synonyms
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 dramatically
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 March to 1% and it remained stable
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 April before it slightly decreased
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 May and fell to -3% by
June
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
Zinc
Use synonyms
's prices increased to 3%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 February and gradually decreased
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
June
Use synonyms
 to -1%. Both
Nickel
Use synonyms
 and
Zinc
Use synonyms
's prices underwent up and down before
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reached the final
price
Use synonyms
changes
Use synonyms
 in December with 1% in
Nickel
Use synonyms
 and 2% in
Zinc
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, changes, nickel, zinc, june with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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