IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two diagrams show the changes made in the infrastructures of
the
Correct article usage
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Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and today.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the
garden
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 has not expanded throughout the years and the only changes that have
made
Add a missing verb
been made
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 were the addition of new renovations like a playing area for children, a theatre and an underground car
park
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. During the time the
park
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 was opened
for
Change preposition
to
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 the public in 1920, the
park
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 had two entrances from Arnold Avenue and from Eldon Street, where it has not changed up to the present. When entering from Eldon Street, you can see a fountain to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of the
park
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 in the old plan; to its left was a stage for music performances. At
present
Add a comma
present,
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 the fountain has been replaced by a rose
garden
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 which
surrounds
Wrong verb form
is surrounded
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 by seats and the stage area has improved for a theatre to hold concerts. When you arrive from
the
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Arnold Avenue, back in 1920, to your immediate left
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 a rose
garden
Use synonyms
 following a pond.
However
Linking Words
, today you see a café where the rose
garden
Use synonyms
 was and a playground where the pond was.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can see there’s a pond where the glass house used to be near
the
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Eldon Street and the entrance to the underground car
park
Use synonyms
 is near the new water feature.
Submitted by Tharinee on

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task response
Ensure that the information is accurately presented according to the given diagrams and make sure to cover all the relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words and referencing to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your lexical resource by incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary related to the topic to enhance the quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Work on using a greater variety of grammatical structures and tenses to demonstrate a more sophisticated range of language skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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