IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparisons
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The chart shows the
money
Use synonyms
 spent on 5 consumer goods (cars, computers, books, perfume, and cameras) in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 in 2010. The stated amount is in pounds sterling. 
Overall
Linking Words
, both countries spent
money
Use synonyms
 on cars the most. The
UK
Use synonyms
 spent the least
money
Use synonyms
 on perfume
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 on cameras. On average, the British spent their
money
Use synonyms
 the most on these 5 consumer goods. In terms of cars, the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent around £450.000
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 exactly £400.000. The
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 books in the
UK
Use synonyms
 is slightly above £400.000
on the other hand
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 spent exactly £300.000 on it. The British spent just over £350.000 on cameras
in contrast
Linking Words
 with the French spent more than 2 times
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
, which was only £150.000. The amount of expenses for the remaining goods
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 higher in
France
Use synonyms
. In
France
Use synonyms
, more than £350.000
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on computers which
slightly
Add a missing verb
is slightly
show examples
 more than in the
UK
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 spent exactly £350.000. In 2010, the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent the least amount of
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 perfume (slightly lower than £150.000)
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 spent it
fro
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 £200.000.
Submitted by buttercookies28 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, uk, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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