Due to rise in university fees arts subjects like history and philosophy should not be taught anymore. Only degree courses should be taught for better employment opportunities. Do you agree or disagree?

#rise #university #fees #arts #subjects #history #philosophy #courses #employment #opportunities

Due to

increasing university fees, the contents of arts, history and philosophy in the programs will vanish and the degree courses will still remain in

this

. I fully disagree with

this

statement.

Therefore

, I would like to explain my idea and the drawbacks of why they still exist.

Firstly

, there are numerous subjects, including art, that can be used to develop the students because they will get the imaginative thinking process of various courses to release in crucial power of the labour markets.

For instance

, studying art can clarify the design to enhance people

such

as selecting the colour for proper mood and product to interpret it.

Additionally

, the skills of history and philosophy can assist the answers to certain questions in working from a historical timeline.

Although

those lessons occur from the predecessor's mistakes, they have become important lessons for determining any policy.

On the contrary

, the program authority should reconsider in the curriculum that the subjects not being part of the employment opportunities are valuable experiences not less than the others.

Otherwise

, the pupils are outstanding in only jobs and lack of the numerous logics.

Moreover

, the government should support these subjects to be affordable

such

as by reducing the costs of each class.

Hence

, all students will get reasonable university fees and attract interested students to get more knowledge not only corresponding the employment.

Finally

, the universities can make more profits by opening those classes.

To conclude

, The merit of non-degree courses is understanding both the thinking and the decision of each timeline.

Hence

, the curriculum authority should reconsider adding other developments for excellent student development

Submitted by amittawin on Thu Nov 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting arguments against the idea of eliminating arts subjects due to rising university fees. However, the arguments presented could have been more comprehensive and provided more specific examples to support the points.

coherence cohesion

The essay displays a logical structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of main points could be more cohesive. There is a need for better coherence between the supporting ideas and examples.

lexical resource

The essay showcases a moderate range of vocabulary and attempts to convey meaning effectively. However, there is room for improvement in developing a more varied and precise lexical resource to express ideas more clearly.

grammatical range

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structure. There is a need for greater accuracy in using complex grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

well-rounded education
critical thinking
creativity
cultural preservation
historical knowledge
soft skills
communication skills
analytical thinking
problem-solving
cultural awareness
university curricula
personal and intellectual growth
employment outcomes
diverse range of disciplines

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You recently organised an all day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter Say what the participant liked about the hotel. Explain why they were unhappy about the hotel. Suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future.
I'm writing to you regarding the all-day corporate event that was hosted in your hotel last weekend. I was responsible for organizing it and collecting feedback afterwards and would like to share my findings.
4
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Today high levels of sugar are contained in many sources of food, especially in manufactured food, and of course, eating so much is not good for our health; it can cause just a simple cavy, for example, but also worse problems, like the increasing level of sugar in blood. Some people suggest that sugary products should be more expensive, so people would buy less them.
5
band
Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society.
Many people think that an employee should stay in the same job for a long time as this benefits individuals, corporations, and societ. Although there are tangible benefits to this suggestion, I strongly believe that job hopping holds a greater value for workers.
4.5
band
As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the globalisation era, technology have widely been used to finding crucial informations which resulted in lesser importance of fact teaching and should be replaced by skills and talent developing. I align with the opinion as i believe that schools should replace the burdening fact teaching with skills enhancing curriculum.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There is an ongoing debate as to whether children start their formal education at a very young age or after 7 years old. While proponents of the early-age starter argue that children may achieve early success in careers the opposites claim that children should be well-developed physically before starting education. Although both sides make very valid points, I would argue that starting education at a very early age is better for most children.

Due to rise in university fees arts subjects like history and philosophy should not be taught anymore. Only degree courses should be taught for better employment opportunities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugat, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society.

As technology helps to gain access to information, fact teaching should be removed and school should focus on developing skills and talents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.