Due to rise in university fees arts subjects like history and philosophy should not be taught anymore. Only degree courses should be taught for better employment opportunities. Do you agree or disagree?
Due to
increasing university fees, the contents of arts, history and philosophy in the programs will vanish and the degree courses will still remain in this
. I fully disagree with this
statement. Therefore
, I would like to explain my idea and the drawbacks of why they still exist.
Firstly
, there are numerous subjects, including art, that can be used to develop the students because they will get the imaginative thinking process of various courses to release in crucial power of the labour markets. For instance
, studying art can clarify the design to enhance people such
as selecting the colour for proper mood and product to interpret it. Additionally
, the skills of history and philosophy can assist the answers to certain questions in working from a historical timeline. Although
those lessons occur from the predecessor's mistakes, they have become important lessons for determining any policy.
On the contrary
, the program authority should reconsider in the curriculum that the subjects not being part of the employment opportunities are valuable experiences not less than the others. Otherwise
, the pupils are outstanding in only jobs and lack of the numerous logics. Moreover
,
the government should support these subjects to be affordable such
as by reducing the costs of each class. Hence
, all students will get reasonable university fees and attract interested students to get more knowledge not only corresponding the employment. Finally
, the universities can make more profits by opening those classes.
To conclude
, The merit of non-degree courses is understanding both the thinking and the decision of each timeline. Hence
, the curriculum authority should reconsider adding other developments for excellent student developmentSubmitted by amittawin on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting arguments against the idea of eliminating arts subjects due to rising university fees. However, the arguments presented could have been more comprehensive and provided more specific examples to support the points.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a logical structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of main points could be more cohesive. There is a need for better coherence between the supporting ideas and examples.
lexical resource
The essay showcases a moderate range of vocabulary and attempts to convey meaning effectively. However, there is room for improvement in developing a more varied and precise lexical resource to express ideas more clearly.
grammatical range
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structure. There is a need for greater accuracy in using complex grammatical structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.