IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
In
this
 day and age, climatory crisis has been of great concern to humans. With regard to
this
 issue, some individuals hold the view that measures should be taken to acclimatize
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 species
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 phenomenon rather than avoiding it. From my standpoint, I partly concur with
this
 statement. Admittedly, it is crucial that people find steps to get accustomed to shifts in global
climate
.
This
 can be attributed to the fact that
climate
change
 may have come to
such
 an irreversible point that several negative consequences can be unavoidable.
As a result
, steps need to be taken in order to deal with these repercussions.
For example
,
due to
 the ever-increasing global temperature, there would be more extreme natural calamities
such
 as
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
 or conflagration which can wreak havoc on residents’ properties and even lives.
Therefore
, more precise prediction systems should be invented
in addition
 to more regular training for rescue workers and laymen in case of emergency.
Moreover
, it is
also
 vital for infrastructures and buildings to be more consistent so as to shield
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 inhabitants during these catastrophes. Should these measures be taken into account, mortal upshots can be minimized once natural disasters occur.
Nevertheless
,
further
 efforts are still necessary with a view to preventing the deterioration of
climate
change
. First and foremost, on the part of governments, they should impose more stringent regulations on environmental issues. Specifically, it should be made compulsory for factories to equip themselves with filtrations before releasing toxic fumes and sewage into the environment.
Moreover
, governmental budgets and human resources could be mobilized so as to make the most of alternative carbon-free energy.
Additionally
, ordinary citizens are
also
 responsible for alleviating
climate
change
 by prioritizing public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and other environmentally friendly means of transportation
instead
 of personal motor vehicles so as to reduce the amount of exhaust fumes emitted into the air. As a direct consequence, the amount of greenhouse gases produced can be lessened, thereby avoiding
further
 rises in global temperature . In conclusion, it is my perspective that
in addition
 to making attempts to ward off more serious
climate
change
, humans had better find ways to accommodate themselves with some of its resultant consequences.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all examples and arguments are directly relevant to the topic
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words and pronouns for better coherence
lexical resource
Expand vocabulary by using more varied and precise lexical choices
grammatical range
Work on complex sentence structures and avoid repetitive patterns for a wider range of grammar

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: