IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below gives information on cinema attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #information #cinema #attendance #uk #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph shows
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of the British
Correct pronoun usage
who visit
show examples
visit
Replace the word
visited
show examples
Use synonyms
Cinema
Correct article usage
the Cinema
show examples
 in 5
years
Use synonyms
 range from 1990 to 2010 with 4 different categories of
age
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance from different categories of
age
Use synonyms
 tends to have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 pattern every time period. The British who aged 44-54
years
Use synonyms
 old went to
Use synonyms
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 the most with the youngest category (14-24
years
Use synonyms
 old) is the least to attend the in every period. In 1990, approximately 37% of people
at
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 44-54
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 the
cinema
Use synonyms
 and
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
 with the highest point of slightly above 50% of
Use synonyms
cinema’s
Change noun form
cinema
show examples
 visitors in 2010. The least visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
cinema
Use synonyms
 in 1990 came from people at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 14-24 with approximately 15% and remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest in 2010 with just above 20%. The British from 33-44
years
Use synonyms
 old in 1990 were the second highest of
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendees around 35% and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 in the same rank in 2010 with above 40%. The second youngest in the
age
Use synonyms
 category (24-34
years
Use synonyms
 old) started with more than 20% in 1990 and increased around 10% in 2010 to above 30%.
Submitted by buttercookies28 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, years, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • anomaly
  • trend
  • pattern
  • attendance
  • cinema-goers
  • audience
  • peak
  • decline
  • increment
  • fluctuation
  • baseline
  • societal changes
  • technological advancements
  • external factors
  • economic conditions
  • home entertainment
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