Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
it is important to note that, progressing involves different aspects for
one
country
. Many may say, and I agree, is
that each Unnecessary verb
apply
one
of these aspects count
equally. Change the verb form
counts
For
instance
, progressing in economy
, culture, education
, happiness and so much more.
However
, many governments believe that economy
is the most important Correct article usage
the economy
aspect
at
all.
The reason that many governments think that way is probably because of the large effects that Change preposition
of
economy
can Correct article usage
the economy
make
on Verb problem
have
one
country
. That is
, not only can weak
Correct article usage
a weak
economy
put one
country
in
a high risk of increasing inflation, but Change preposition
at
also
the ability of buying
will decrease. Change preposition
to buy
Besides
, should the importance of economic progress
apes under question, governments have to deal with other countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
This
will put one
country
in
a risk of war if it does not accept what other countries desire.
Change preposition
apply
However
, just paying attention on
Change preposition
to
one
aspect
of progressing
Correct article usage
the progressing
named
Verb problem
apply
economy
cannot be enough. For
instance
, education
is a challenging aspect
of progress
that needs to be taken care of.
Needless to say, only when we have a development education
, will there be many experts in different subjects including economy
. Add an article
the economy
Therefore
, the improvement of education
can be a reason of
economic Change preposition
for
progress
. For
instance
, the lack of children's training because of weak
Add an article
a weak
the weak
education
system can be the cause of murder being increased which also
affects the economy
.
Additionally
, I believe that developing on
any Change preposition
apply
aspect
of progress
can be a cause of economic improvement at
the end. Change preposition
in
Thus
, just focusing on economy
can make Add an article
the economy
one
country
regress, for they have nothing except economy
. Correct article usage
the economy
For
instance
, China has one
of the most successful economy
in the world, but the amount of its Change to a plural noun
economies
people
happiness is so low. Change noun form
people's
On the other hand
, the only thing that its
government pay attention to is Change the word
the
economy
, so long working hours do not Correct article usage
the economy
let
people Verb problem
make
to
be happy.
Change the verb form
apply
As a result
, although
it is good to have a developed economy
, we should consider other progress
too. This
is probably how we can have a wonderful society.Submitted by hanarad41 on
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task response
Task Response: The essay discusses both views and provides a personal opinion. However, the opinion lacks depth and clarity. Make sure to clearly state and support your opinion to meet the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure and introduction/conclusion are clear, but the essay lacks consistent support for the main points. Develop each main point with appropriate examples and explanations to improve cohesion and coherence.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The essay demonstrates adequate use of vocabulary and some collocations. However, there is a need for a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively. Try to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay shows a mix of simple and complex structures. However, there are issues with sentence structure and punctuation. Work on using complex structures and ensuring accurate punctuation to enhance grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.