The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart below depicts the proportion of Australian citizens actively joining physical activities for both genders in different
age
groups
in 2010. As can be seen from the graph, there were six
age
groups
varied from 15 to over 65 and it is obvious that the percentage of
women
from 25 to 64 doing exercises was higher than
men
at the same
age
while
it was
men
in their twenties that were more active in doing sports than
women
. For the
age
of 15 to 24, we can see that there were more than 5% of
men
joining physical activities compared with
women
.
However
, for the other four
age
groups
from 25 to 64, the proportion of female athletes remained at a higher rate than males.
In addition
, in terms of the 35-44 and 45-54
age
groups
, there were approximately 10% to 13% of females doing exercises higher than males
whereas
there was only just over 7% difference between
men
and
women
at the
age
of 25 and 55.
On the other hand
, Australian elder male and female citizens saw the same rate of just 46,7% for the former and 47,1% for the latter at the
age
of 65 to over.
Submitted by yennhicao24 on

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, women, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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