Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Give examples.

#people #pets #children

It is often claimed that animal is becoming an essential part of our daily life. Some people believe that

pets

are harmful and cause illness among

kids

while

; others feel

this

trend brings positive effect on children’s behavior. Personally, I completely agree with keeping

pets

because it would make

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of responsibility for

kids

. On the one hand, having a pet comes

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with many benefits for children.

For instance

, taking care of their furry friends

such

as walking, training, feeding and playing with them, not only

get

Verb problem

gives

show examples

them more responsibility but,

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to improve their connection skills.

Furthermore

, researchers proved that

kids

who

exposed

Add a missing verb

are exposed

show examples

pets

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

have powerful immune

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

compared to those who do not.

On the other hand

, parents have considerable for not having

pets

at home. One of their concern is aggressive behavior of any animal may cause harm to the small babies.

For example

, if children, play with them and unconsciously bite them,

as a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they have to face a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

trouble. Evidently, many

pets

may spread allergies and diseases because their skin is prone to bacteria, viruses and pathogens which is risky for minors' vulnerable physical health.

To sum up

, whilst there are some negative consequences for household animals, I believe

this

is better than harm for

kids

because they can learn many things by taking care of them and have better health from an early age.

Submitted by n97.mortazian on Thu Nov 09 2023

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Task Response

Task Response: The essay discusses both sides of the argument, but the conclusion is unclear. It is important to clearly state your opinion and provide a strong conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is mostly clear, but there are some sentence structure issues that affect coherence. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion need to be more developed.

Lexical Resource

Lexical Resource: The vocabulary and word choice are fairly appropriate, but there are some instances of wordiness and awkward phrasing. Work on using concise and precise language.

Grammatical Range

Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure and tense consistency. Proofreading for these issues is recommended.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Give examples.

Word Count

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

In many countries today, women have full-time jobs. Therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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