The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.

The bar charts below show the prevalence of obesity among boys and girls aged 12 to 19 years by ethnicity, in the United States for the years 2004 and 2014.
The presented diagrams provide the results of a survey carried out to determine the proportion of overweight
boys
and
girls
aged 12 to 19 in the United States in a decade.
Overall
, what stands out in
both
charts is that the percentage of obesity varied dramatically in 2014 among all the criteria. As can be seen, in 2004
both
girls
and
boys
, experienced a lower level of fatness compared to the same category in 2014.
For instance
, in the
boys
' chart, Hispanics were the fattest group with 13%,
while
non-Hispanic
whites were placed in second with 12%. Respectively,
non-Hispanic
blacks were in third
place
by 11%.
By comparison
, in the
girls
' graph,
non-Hispanic
blacks served the first
place
with 16%.
Similarly
, Hispanics were in second
place
with 12%.
However
,
non-Hispanic
whites had the lowest percentage around 9%. In 2014,
both
groups reached a higher number compared to previous ones.
For example
, same as before, Hispanics led the first
place
with 27% by
boys
,
however
,
girls
in the same sector had the 17% percentage.
Nevertheless
,
girls
in
non-Hispanic
blacks had the highest number which is 29% and
boys
were lower than them with 20%.
Lastly
,
non-Hispanic
whites had the lowest number among
both
girls
and
boys
with 14% and 17% respectively.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, both, non-hispanic, place with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • obesity
  • ethnicity
  • impact
  • bar charts
  • data
  • represent
  • studying
  • rates
  • significant
  • differences
  • highest
  • lowest
  • compare
  • trend
  • experienced
  • changes
  • over 10-year period
  • highlight
  • variations
  • notable
  • summarize
  • findings
  • implications
  • adolescents
  • addressing
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