Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that the best way to increase
road
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safety
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is by improving the minimum of the existing
law
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. I totally agree with
this
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notion because the fact of driving laws are not evenly distributed in several cities and the consequences formulated in today's
law
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show ineffectiveness in making people learn one's lessons. riding
rules
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in particular
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areas
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are nearly zero, especially in urban locations.
This
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means the fundamental
rules
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already
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are already
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structured by the government,
however
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, the application of the
law
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is not evenly distributed in several
areas
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in a country.
For instance
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, in sub-urban
areas
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like Depok, it is a must for all motorcycle riders to wear helmets, which are regulated by the local government.
However
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, the minimum application of the
rules
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provokes
society
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to not obey the
law
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and
as a result
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, they neglect the obligation to wear helmets.
Consequently
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,
road
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accidents may drop in specific cities, where the basic
road
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regulation
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is applied well, but the fact shows that cities without proper
road
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safety
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laws evidently presented a gradual increment in driving violations.
Therefore
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, increasing the minimum legal for driving cars may positively affect to even distribution of the application of the
regulation
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, which is crucial regarding transportation accidents. the continuous number of
road
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safety
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violations proves that the existing
law
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is not effective in making
society
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follow the
rules
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, which results in a huge number of car or
motorbikes
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motorbike
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accidents year
on
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after
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year. Because the disobedience of
society
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translates to the ineffectiveness of the current
law
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, especially to make people give up.
This
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means the consequences of the
regulation
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do not effectively work to hinder
society
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from breaking the
law
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.
Thus
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, the existing
law
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needs government attention in order to improve, so every rider could pay more attention to it and
consequently
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, more inhabitants obey the
regulation
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. In conclusion, I agree with the initiative of improving
road
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safety
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by increasing the minimum of the
law
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because the ongoing
law
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is not applied evenly in several
areas
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and
moreover
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, the notion of
violator's
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the violator's
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fearlessness of the
law
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's consequences indicates the ineffectiveness of the ongoing
law
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.
Submitted by elroivan on

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task response
The essay fails to fully address the task question. The arguments lack clarity and are not adequately supported with relevant examples. More focus on discussing the impact of increasing the minimum legal age on road safety is required.
coherence cohesion
There is some logical structure in the essay, but the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly presented. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and coherence in the development of the discussion. The use of cohesive devices is limited, leading to an inconsistency in the connection of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary. However, there are instances of wordiness and awkward phrasing that hinder the clarity of expression. Use of more precise and concise language is recommended.
grammatical range
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and sentence construction. Greater attention to sentence structure and grammar accuracy is necessary.
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