In many countries, children are anganged in some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as a valuable work experience. discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Children are involved in many types of
paymant
Correct your spelling
payment
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in some regions. some people consider
this
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
utterly wrong,
whereas
Linking Words
others argue that it is invaluable job experience.
This
Linking Words
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
argue that despite the fact that children will face
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obstaclles
Correct your spelling
obstacle
obstacles
in studying many subjects in their school, it will make them more and more
exposing
Change the form of the verb
exposed
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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work
Add an article
the work
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world in terms of
prepearing
Correct your spelling
preparing
them
Change preposition
for
show examples
life after
living
Verb problem
leaving
show examples
school.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is weak and lacks organization. There are issues with the introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not effectively supported.
task achievement
The response is incomplete and does not effectively communicate clear and comprehensive ideas. Relevant specific examples are needed to support the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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