Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? ielts mentor

Recently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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supermarkets
are developing rapidly and there is a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
extention
Correct your spelling
extension
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
them in part of the
countried
Correct your spelling
countries
country
.
As a result
, many local and non-chain companies and
shops
cannot compete with
those supermarket
Change the determiner
that supermarket
those supermarkets
show examples
. Part of the people believed it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the end of local
shops
and bringing
the
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apply
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death towards the native communities.
In
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To
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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extend
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extent
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, I disagree with
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
as I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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it can bring a new atmosphere towards the
markets
,
whereas
I disagree
in
Change preposition
to
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small
Correct article usage
a small
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extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
because
of
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apply
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it will hurt some of the tiny, home-based stalls.
In
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To
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small
Correct article usage
a small
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extend
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extent
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,
family-based
Add an article
a family-based
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and small business may
lost
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lose
be lost
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their customers. The
supermarkets
usually have more choices and the quality
inside
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apply
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of the products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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proved
Correct your spelling
proven
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.
Cosumers
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Consumers
may be more willing to go to
the
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apply
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supermarkets
to buy the things they want.
For example
, a girl
will
Wrong verb form
would
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rather go to
supermarkets
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
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drinks but not
the
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to the
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small stall
downstair
Correct your spelling
downstairs
show examples
. Because
the
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apply
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supermarkets
usually have more options to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Therefore
, the local
shops
may
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
their customers
time
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from time
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to time.
Consequently
, the
shops
may
closed
Change the verb form
be closed
close
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.
In
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To
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that through the expansion of the
supermarkets
, it can bring a new atmosphere towards the local
markets
and provide a better
shoppin
Correct your spelling
shopping
experienced
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experience
show examples
for citizens.
Supermarkets
always have the newest and updated goods.
Also
, the shopping
enviornments
Correct your spelling
environments
environment
of them are comfortable. So, people will be attracted. It will bring promote a competitive vibe towards the local company. Giving a signal that, if you want to gain more customers, you will need to improve your
overall
quality.
Consequently
, the local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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and the
supermarkets
will be
togther
Correct your spelling
together
providing
a
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an
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amazing
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
to the buyers. The local
markets
will have an upgrade
on
Change preposition
in
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their quality. In sum,
althoigh
Correct your spelling
although
there will
bring
Verb problem
be
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some damage to the local small stall, it can develop the local
markets
to a higher class.
Therefore
, I agree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
statement
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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