IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Your next door owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog

#door #dog #night #neighbor
Dear Mehra, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that, your puppy barks a lot and
due to
this
 it is hard to focus on my studies
as well as
 nobody is able to sleep because the volume of your
dog
 is too loud. I am your new neighbour and my name is Bhawna Soni. I shifted here just a month
before
Rephrase
ago
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. It is quite annoying that your
dog
 barks in day and night. It disturbs my sleep and I can not focus on my work
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
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my siblings are preparing for university
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
 and the noise is disturbing their studies as well.
Further
, I request you to take your
dog
 for a walk
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 because they got tired
staying
Change preposition
of staying
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 at the same place.
Moreover
, send him to a
dog
 school, where he can understand many words and will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to understand what you are saying to him. I am looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your position response.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Bhawna soni
Submitted by soni.bhawna232 on

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task response
Ensure that your response addresses all aspects of the task. In this case, the response should address the issue of the dog barking and its impact, request for action, and a polite request for resolution.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite, but the coherence and cohesion could be improved by organizing the letter into distinct paragraphs for better flow of ideas.
lexical resource
The vocabulary and language used are moderately appropriate for the task. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more formal language for addressing a neighbor in a letter.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is somewhat limited, and there are some errors in sentence structure and construction. Review the use of tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure for clarity and accuracy.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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