IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The best way to sole the environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel .To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#price #fuel
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Nowadays, globally is a big issues environmental problem.
However
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,
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this
Change the determiner
these
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 issues pop- up day by day.
Thus
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, I argued that
,
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apply
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 the affecting main
this
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 situation
people
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 are using lots of
vehicles
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.
Nevertheless
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, I totally agree with the above statement.
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Due to
Change preposition
apply
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, one thing is within
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 period
time
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of time
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 can
sole
Correct your spelling
solve
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this
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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.
On the other
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hand
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, when
fuel
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Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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 society will move
alternative
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to alternative
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Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of
energy
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. In
this
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 my opinion, I am going to explain with relevant examples
further
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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,
fuel
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price
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increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
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 will mainly affect the atmosphere. Usually when
Add the particle
to grow
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grow
Change the verb form
growing
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 up
fuel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 many of them avoid
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use
Change the form of the verb
using
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 their
vehicles
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as a result
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; will reduce the toxic gas
by
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apply
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vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
Then
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 would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lead greenhouse environment in the world.
For Instance
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,
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this days
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this day
these days
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 in India some places full covered
of
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with
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 toxic gas. Because of that,
people
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 are unable to live
that
Change preposition
in that
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 area. Somehow, now
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 tries to
bringing
Change the verb
bring
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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solutions for sole the problem. Among them,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 the
use
Use synonyms
 of private
vehicles
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been the main task. The strategy used for
this
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 is to increase the
price
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 of
fuel
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.
Therefore
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, as I
mentions
Wrong verb form
mentioned
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,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
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 of
fuel
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 within
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 time of the period will
sole
Correct your spelling
solve
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 the issue.
On the other
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hand
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,
due to
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 rising
energy
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 pierces, folk are unable to
use
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fuel
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 for the reason is that they
are
Verb problem
do
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 not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
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 money
for
Change preposition
apply
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the
buying
Replace the word
buy
show examples
source
Use synonyms
 of
energy
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.
As well as
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 most of them try to
use
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 public transport service.
As a result
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,
fuel
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 usage
significantly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
will
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
.
Thus
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, society will naturally to new
source
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 of
energy
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.
For instance
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,
western
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in western
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 countries many
people
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 are using
electrical
Replace the word
electric
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vehicles
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,
as well as
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, industries
also
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use
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 solar power for machines.
Nevertheless
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, turning to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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source
Use synonyms
 of
energy
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will be the best solution sole
environmental
Correct article usage
the environmental
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 problem.
To conclude
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, In my point of view, increasing the rate of
fuel
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a good way to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sort out environmental problems. On the one
hand
Use synonyms
, society
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
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their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 own
vehicles
Use synonyms
as a result
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, in the future greenhouse environment
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 created.
On the other
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hand
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 are using alternative
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 air pollution is decreasing globally.
Submitted by himalhi.deepthi on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be more focused and clear. Provide a clear position on the statement to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. Organize the ideas into clear and coherent paragraphs with appropriate topic sentences and supporting details.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices to improve the lexical resource. Avoid repetition and aim for a more sophisticated use of language.
grammatical range
Work on improving the grammatical range by using varied sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of tenses.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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