IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In spite of the advances made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Technological
knowhow
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know-how
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 in
agricultural
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the agricultural
show examples
section
Correct your spelling
sector
show examples
still
Add a missing verb
is still
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 unable to cater
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
to food
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 supply in most parts of the world leading to starving
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 for
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of poor people.
This
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 essay will explain the causes leading
of
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to
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this
Linking Words
 notion
such
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 as
over
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apply
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poplulation
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population
,and more
food
Use synonyms
grain
Use synonyms
demand
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 less supply,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 explain problems like import
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 developed
contires
Correct your spelling
countries
 and improvisation of cultivated land.
To begin
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 with,
firstly
Linking Words
, to cater huge
demand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
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 storage there is
requirement
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a requirement
the requirement
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of advance
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for advanced
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technology
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. Even if huge efforts are being made to fill the gap
by
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apply
show examples
many authorities
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 unable to cater
due to
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increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 in
population
Use synonyms
 size
accross
Correct your spelling
across
 the world.
For example
Linking Words
, an article
publised
Correct your spelling
published
 in the Times of India indicated that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of underdeveloped
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 are facing
acute
Correct article usage
an acute
show examples
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
grain
Use synonyms
 supply in spite of the fact that governmental bodies are outperforming to overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue by relying on
advacement
Correct your spelling
advancement
advancements
 in
technology
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 sector. In order to overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue,
authorties
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authorities
 can import
food
Use synonyms
 grains from developed countries. In some regions
where
Rephrase
apply
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geographical conditions are preferable so that they can produce more
food
Use synonyms
grain
Use synonyms
 and should come forward to help those regions where there are shortage of raw materials for
Use synonyms
population
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the population
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a global survey conducted by
food
Use synonyms
 development bodies indicated that acute shortage of raw materials
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 for
food
Use synonyms
grain
Use synonyms
 in some parts of Africa and
continues
Wrong verb form
continued
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 efforts are being made to fill up the gap by providing good raw materials from developed
contires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
By
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In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way, underdeveloped
contries
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countries
 can take competitive advantage of
technology
Use synonyms
 and
food
Use synonyms
 grains from
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the world.
Secondly
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, there is
requirement
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a requirement
the requirement
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 for improvisation of uncultivated land so that can be developed to cater huge growing
demand
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 sector.
This
Linking Words
 is proven that agricultural scientist are working hard to
improvised
Verb problem
improve
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agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
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sectore
Correct your spelling
sector
sectors
 still more need to be done to cater
demand
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 of
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 chunk of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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.s
To conclude
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,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advancement in
technology
Use synonyms
 itself can not cater huge
demand
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 grains. In
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 to cater
Use synonyms
demand
Fix the infinitive
to demand
show examples
due to
Linking Words
spike
Correct article usage
a spike
show examples
 in
population
Use synonyms
, there is
Correct article usage
a requriement
show examples
requriement
Correct your spelling
requirement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
improvistion
Correct your spelling
improvisation
 of cultivated land and import from developed countries to fill up the gap.

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Task Response
The essay addresses some of the key points related to the issue, but fails to fully respond to the question. It needs to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the causes and solutions for food scarcity around the world.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the line of reasoning. Clearer topic sentences and a more organized structure would improve coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
The essay lacks a variety of advanced vocabulary and uses awkward or incorrect expressions. To improve lexical resource, the writer should focus on using more precise and appropriate vocabulary to convey ideas.
Grammatical Range
The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including tense inconsistencies and awkward sentence structures. To improve grammatical range, careful proofreading and attention to sentence structure is necessary.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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