Doctors, nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

#doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #entertainment #sports #celebrities

Nowadays famous people in the sports and

entertainment

industry are earning way more money than

teachers

and employees from our health system.

This

essay will argue why

this

trend is not fair.

Firstly

doctors

and nurses play a more important role in society. They are the ones responsible for people’s well-being.

For example

, when feeling unwell patients look for

doctors

to help deal with their life issues, and the nurses are there to help them caring for us.

Thus

, we would not be able to live without them.

Secondly

doctors

give a sense of security to local communities, people feel safe seeing a doctor who is trusted.

For instance

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

long distances can be an issue for elderly people,

this

could cause stress for them if their local

doctors

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

not present.

Moreover

teachers

are the foundation of society. Everyone needed a teacher to become the professionals they are nowadays.

That is

to say that even our doctor needed someone to show them how to do their job.

For example

, to be a doctor you one’s must study very hard and learn everything about humans, and

this

is only possible if someone who already knows the subject to explain it.

Therefore

, it is extremely important to prioritize

teachers

over the

entertainment

industry.

To conclude

entertainment

and sports celebrities should not have higher payments than

doctors

, nurses, and

teachers

, as they play a more vital role in communities. In my opinion, society should start not paying so much for

entertainment

and sport.

Submitted by leandro-vs- on Fri Nov 10 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay clearly addresses all points of the prompt, provides relevant examples, and presents a well-supported argument with clear reasoning.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure is clear, with a proper introduction and conclusion. However, paragraphs could be more effectively linked to improve overall cohesion.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good use of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in using a wider variety of sophisticated terms and expressions.

grammatical range

The essay shows a range of grammatical structures. However, more complex sentence structures and a wider variety of grammar patterns could be used to enhance the overall quality of writing.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

contribution
essential services
long hours
stressful
well-being
development
entertain
inspire
exorbitant salaries
unfair
talented individuals
professions

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Doctors, nurses, and teachers make a great contribution to society and should be paid more than entertainment and sports celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?

Parents of obese children should be punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

in some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house pr building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?