IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down

#topic #people #buildings
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There has been discussion of knocking down the current building and replacing it with a brand-new one. Since the establishment, like everything else, has a finite lifetime, I completely agree with
this
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 remark. The advantages that accrue to human beings from engaging in
this
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 activity will be greater. Some of the older structures are in
such
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 bad shape that they threaten pedestrians and the people within. Several arguments might be made in
favor
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favour
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 of building a new one.
First,
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preserving the status quo is not a foolproof strategy; a structure
that is
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 50 years old was likely constructed using outdated methods and inferior materials and might collapse at any moment. The residents in the region suffered tremendous losses
as a result
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.
Second,
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the properties' upkeep costs and revenue constitute a significant drain on resources. The ancient village of Hoi An, Vietnam, is a prime example.
However
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, the government has now chosen to reconstruct the area with new structures that are visually identical to
t he
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the
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 originals. Whether we like it or not, the new ones provide the owners
more
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with more
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 ease and use. To be more precise, no one enjoys making the ascent through the stairs on a hot summer day, and neither did the ancients who had elevators and air conditioning.
In addition
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, there is a diverse selection of modern residential and commercial spaces available to accommodate our growing technological needs. It is well-known that in 2019, new restaurants, hotels, and shopping malls replaced 30% of Vietnam's older structures. In conclusion, I think the new building is advantageous for the economy and the community since it creates jobs.
Submitted by channguyenhon6 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that indicates your position on the topic. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and reaffirm your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively. Use transitions to link your paragraphs and ideas more smoothly.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to include a greater variety of words and expressions. Avoid repetitive or vague language and aim for more precision and specificity in your word choice.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structures and grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and use of complex sentences to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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