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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the proportions of the world's oil resources held in different areas, together with the proportions consumed annually in the same areas. Summarise the information by se/ecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of the world's oil resources held in different areas, together with the proportions consumed annually in the same areas. Summarise the information by se/ecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #proportions #world #oil #resources #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The following bar charts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 in 5 different
countries
 the
pourcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
oil
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
. We can
firstly
 see the total
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 and the the total
oil
 consumption per year. To start,
it is clear that
 the Middle
east
Capitalize word
East
show examples
oil
 the high
pourcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
oil
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 and
then
,
Asia
 and
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united
Capitalize word
United
show examples
 States are the
countries
 with more
oil
 consumption.
Next,
if we focus on the detail we can see that
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East have around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
56, 52% of
oil
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 but the
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other hand we have for
exemple
Correct your spelling
example
 United States or
Asia
 with just 1,85% for the first one and 2,89% for
Asia
.
Then
, these are other
countries
 like Canada
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 provide 19,89% of
oil
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 but it is a
litle
Correct your spelling
little
 part in
comparation
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 East
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
oil
 ressouces.
Lastly
, in terms of consumption, we can see how the
countries
 with less
oil
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 are
then
 the higher consumers like
Asia
 or
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States.
WE
Correct your spelling
We
show examples
 have the same example with Westen Europe
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has just 1,47% of
oil
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 but
then
 they are the United country with the high annual
oil
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 with
with
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
15,29%.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, oil, ressources, asia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • resources
  • consumption
  • annually
  • regions
  • disparity
  • consumption rates
  • high/low resources
  • global market dynamics
  • geopolitical relations
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