IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problemes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#country #language #problemes
These days, more and more immigrating to new countries to get a better life.It has been suggested that
language
varrier
Correct your spelling
barriers
 can
cause
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in social interactions
as well as
issuse
Correct your spelling
issues
 in
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
 life.I partially agree with
this
idea
 and in
this
Add a comma
easy,
show examples
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will give some
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
 to support my opinion. Generally
speaking
Add a comma
speaking,
show examples
 there are a wide range of reasons why
people
 believe that in ability to speak
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 can
cause
 serious problems .From a social point of
Correct your spelling
view
veiw
Add a comma
veiw,
show examples
 the primary
argument
suppporting
Correct your spelling
supporting
this
idea
 is that it will be
deficult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to make
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
As a result
 ,
people
 will feel lonely isolated and frustrated ,which in turn leads to
deprecision
Correct your spelling
depression
 and alcoholism. from a practical point of
Correct your spelling
view
veiw
Add a comma
veiw,
show examples
 another key
argument
 in
sopport
Correct your spelling
support
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
idea
 is that it will be
deficult
Correct your spelling
difficult
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 a job . if an immigrant can not speak in the local
language
 it is highly unlikely that he will get hired.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it must be said there are several
argument
Change to a plural noun
arguments
show examples
 against there
idea
 that four
language
 ability can
cause
 serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 perhaps the strongest of
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 is that
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 is auniversal
language
. if
people
 can speak in
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
, they might be able to communicate effectively.
moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
show examples
 they can use an interpreter.
last
 but not
lest
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
,with the help
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 local
people
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 can
lear
Correct your spelling
learn
show examples
this
 local
language
 . In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
,learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
 is a topic which is very
relavant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 to modern society . I partially believe that communication
varrier
Correct your spelling
barrier
carrier
 can
cause
 serious
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.If a person to
move
Verb problem
apply
show examples
another country and he can not speak the
language
 at all, life will be quite
deficult
Correct your spelling
difficult
.
Submitted by badshashaikh840 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion in your essay to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: