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Writing Samples
Band 6

Advertising industry has a huge influence on the society. Do you agree or disagree?

#industry #influence #society
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The advertising
industry
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 is undeniably a powerful force that significantly shapes contemporary
society
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.
This
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 essay explores the multifaceted impact of advertising, considering both its positive and negative implications. On the positive side, advertising serves as a catalyst for consumer empowerment by providing information about a plethora of products and services.
This
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 empowers individuals to make informed choices, fostering a competitive market environment and driving economic growth. The
industry
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's contribution to economic prosperity is evident in its role in job creation and the stimulation of economic activity.
However
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, the influence of advertising is not without drawbacks. Critics argue that the
industry
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 often exploits vulnerabilities, particularly in vulnerable demographic groups, perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards and contributing to issues like body image dissatisfaction.
Additionally
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, advertising can reinforce societal stereotypes and norms, hindering progress toward a more inclusive and diverse
society
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. The depiction of traditional gender roles in advertisements,
for example
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, can contribute to the perpetuation of inequality and discrimination. In conclusion, the advertising
industry
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's influence on
society
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 is a complex interplay of positive and negative forces.
While
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 it empowers consumers and fuels economic growth, it
also
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 has the potential to exploit vulnerabilities and perpetuate societal stereotypes. Achieving a balanced approach that maximizes the positive impact of advertising
while
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 mitigating its negative consequences is crucial for fostering a more equitable and empowered
society
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. It requires collective efforts from consumers, policymakers, and
industry
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 stakeholders to critically assess and regulate the advertising landscape, ensuring it contributes positively to the
overall
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 well-being of
society
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.
Submitted by v.bzhasso95 on

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task response
Ensure to provide specific examples to support your points and further illustrate the positive and negative impact of advertising on society.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but consider using more cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is strong, but aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to add depth and sophistication to your arguments.
grammatical range
While your grammatical range is proficient, try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex grammatical forms to showcase a wider range of language skills.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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