Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Instead, they should receive education and job training. Do you agree or disagree?

Crime is always bad
as well as
the criminals. Some people prefer to educate the criminals rather than punishment. I totally agree with
this
statement. The primary reason to support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is that it helps them to differentiate
the
Change preposition
between the
show examples
good and bad. If they can learn the details of bad things and the procedures of escaping from those, they might avoid any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
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of crime.
For example
, to eradicate
youth-criminals
Correct your spelling
youth criminals
show examples
Bangladesh developed
youth
Correct article usage
a youth
show examples
training centre.
Thus
, the positive change is notable. Youngers are now inclined
on developing
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to develop
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themselves
whereas
previously they were involved in bad
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Another reason to promote study is the increase
of
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in
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employment.
In contrast
, unemployment is
also
a reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
committing
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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to earn money.
Study
Wrong verb form
Studying
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,
however
, helps them to get a better job to lead their life. After completion of
study
Add a comma
study,
show examples
everybody gets a good job, which ensures them a good source of income.
For instance
, most of the
universitities
Correct your spelling
universities
in Germany have a link with the employers, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
the students to get a better job.
On the other hand
, sending prison could not
ensures
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ensure
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the income source.
Therefore
, after coming from that they continue their activities. In conclusion, it can be said that teaching is the best medicine for a criminal. Without training, it is not possible to stop any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
of criminal
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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task response
The introduction could be more explicit in addressing the topic. Include a clear thesis statement to demonstrate a strong position on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is adequate, but the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the overall coherence. Make sure to use transitional words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in terms of using more sophisticated and precise vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
While the essay displays a generally accurate and varied use of grammatical structures, some sentences are awkward or unclear. Work on sentence structure and ensure that complex sentences are used appropriately.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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