Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Most of the manufactured foods come with high levels of
sugar
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and
same
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the same
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can
be created
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create
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many
health
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issues among
people
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.There is an
on going
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ongoing
show examples
debat
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debate
debit
that sugary
products
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should be made expensive just to encourage
people
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to less consume
the
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apply
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sugar
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and in
this
Linking Words
essay im
writiing
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writing
in favor of making sugary
products
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expensive
and
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apply
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below
i
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I
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have discussed the same in
details
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detail
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. A healthy population is a blessing to
a
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apply
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any nation and if
the
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apply
show examples
sugar
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creats
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creates
issues
on
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in
show examples
health
Use synonyms
it's wise to take
neccesory prevntion
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necessary prevention
methods to distance
people
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from root course. As a policy if it can be made expensive to
people
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, may create
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apply
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a
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apply
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less demand for the same . With the
on going
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ongoing
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inflation
arond
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around
the world
certenly
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certainly
many will
prioritze
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prioritise
their needs and sweetened foods will not come top of the list .
As a
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result
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result,
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there will be
a
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apply
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less
suger consumptoin
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sugar consumption
which will lead to a healthier
life style
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lifestyle
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. 1998 Sri
lankan
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Lankan
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government imposed a tax on imported
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
and they experienced a drastic shortage of
deman
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demand
on
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for
show examples
sugary
products
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in
same
Add an article
the same
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year .
Further
Linking Words
to the same
i
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I
show examples
belive
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believe
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high revenue on increased sugary
product
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products
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can be used
on
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in
show examples
health
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care to mitigate the damage
creats
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created
creates
to
economy
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the economy
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.
Sugar
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is the main reason for diabetics and governments have to spend millions on these to cure
people
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. Increased prices could
a
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be a
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way of finding
required
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the required
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funds to maintain
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health care
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healthcare
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centers
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centres
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without putting
a
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an
show examples
additional
presure
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pressure
on
rest
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the rest
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of the
tax payers
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taxpayers
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. Considering the holistic view
i
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I
show examples
belive
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believe
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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the
sugar
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products
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can be a better solution to keep
people
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away from unhealthy eating habits and
what ever
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whatever
show examples
the additional revenue generates from the same can be used
to
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for
show examples
a
meaning full coursed
Replace the word
meaningful course
show examples
.
Submitted by klh.liyanage on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but need improvement in clarity and structure. The main points are adequately supported, but the examples provided could be more specific and relevant to the arguments.
task achievement
The response provides a complete answer to the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the examples provided are not fully relevant to the arguments, and the response could be more focused on the specific question.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufactured food and drinks
  • high levels of sugar
  • health problems
  • consume less sugar
  • sugary products
  • more expensive
  • motivate
  • reduced sugar consumption
  • additional revenue
  • healthcare programs
  • low-income individuals
  • cheaper sugary products
  • education and awareness
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • promoting healthier choices
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