Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Most of the manufactured foods come with high levels of
sugar
and
same
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the same
show examples
can
be created
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
many
health
issues among
people
.There is an
on going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
show examples
debat
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debate
debit
that sugary
products
should be made expensive just to encourage
people
to less consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
and in
this
essay im
writiing
Correct your spelling
writing
in favor of making sugary
products
expensive
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
below
i
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I
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have discussed the same in
details
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detail
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. A healthy population is a blessing to
a
Remove the article
apply
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any nation and if
the
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apply
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sugar
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
issues
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
health
it's wise to take
neccesory prevntion
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necessary prevention
methods to distance
people
from root course. As a policy if it can be made expensive to
people
, may create
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
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apply
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less demand for the same . With the
on going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
show examples
inflation
arond
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around
the world
certenly
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certainly
many will
prioritze
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prioritise
their needs and sweetened foods will not come top of the list .
As a
result
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result,
show examples
there will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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less
suger consumptoin
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sugar consumption
which will lead to a healthier
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
. 1998 Sri
lankan
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Lankan
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government imposed a tax on imported
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
and they experienced a drastic shortage of
deman
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demand
on
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for
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sugary
products
in
same
Add an article
the same
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year .
Further
to the same
i
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I
show examples
belive
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believe
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high revenue on increased sugary
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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can be used
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
health
care to mitigate the damage
creats
Correct your spelling
created
creates
to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
Sugar
is the main reason for diabetics and governments have to spend millions on these to cure
people
. Increased prices could
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
way of finding
required
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the required
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funds to maintain
health care
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healthcare
show examples
centers
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centres
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without putting
a
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an
show examples
additional
presure
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pressure
on
rest
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the rest
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of the
tax payers
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taxpayers
show examples
. Considering the holistic view
i
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I
show examples
belive
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believe
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increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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the
sugar
products
can be a better solution to keep
people
away from unhealthy eating habits and
what ever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
the additional revenue generates from the same can be used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
meaning full coursed
Replace the word
meaningful course
show examples
.
Submitted by klh.liyanage on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but need improvement in clarity and structure. The main points are adequately supported, but the examples provided could be more specific and relevant to the arguments.
task achievement
The response provides a complete answer to the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the examples provided are not fully relevant to the arguments, and the response could be more focused on the specific question.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufactured food and drinks
  • high levels of sugar
  • health problems
  • consume less sugar
  • sugary products
  • more expensive
  • motivate
  • reduced sugar consumption
  • additional revenue
  • healthcare programs
  • low-income individuals
  • cheaper sugary products
  • education and awareness
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • promoting healthier choices
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