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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
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Although
Linking Words
 the purpose of
university
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education
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 is believed to help
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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graduated students get an ideal position in the company by several citizens, others are convinced that
both
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 individuals and
society
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 can receive numerous beneficial impacts from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tertiary
education
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. From my personal perspective, the main goal of
education
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 in the
university
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 should be
job related
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job-related
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. On the one hand, it can be easily noticed that many degree curriculums are designed for their students to prepare for the duty and role in specific work fields. In fact, there
are
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is
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 a great deal of professional
degree
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degrees
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provide
Correct pronoun usage
that provide
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 their
graduates
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 with certification in order to provide greater
competitive
Replace the word
competition
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 in getting a job.
For instance
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, healthcare-related degrees,
such
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 as nursing, occupational therapy, or physiotherapy, always provide internships
and
Correct word choice
apply
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clinical placements and licenses to their
graduates
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 after they
completed
Wrong verb form
complete
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 all the requirements.
Therefore
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, they are relatively more familiar with the workplace and procedures than others and pursue a higher position in their career.
On the other hand
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, a number of people point out that the personal growth and attitudes that
graduates
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gained
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gain
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 from the
university
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 are more precious to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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 and their own.
Furthermore
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, maturity and actively engaging in social decisions are
both
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 elements that are expected
by
Change preposition
of
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university
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graduates
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. As a matter of fact, their ability in critical thinking and their civil responsibility are important to help develop a
society
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.
For instance
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, they can take part in elections and help set up social policies. If there were not enough tertiary
education
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to
Change preposition
for
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 the general public, the level and stability of
society
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 may decline significantly.
To conclude
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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university
Use synonyms
education
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 is important for
both
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 personal and social development. After carefully reviewing
both
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 views, I believe the mission of
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university
Add an article
the university
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 should be helping their
graduates
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 to secure their future development.
Submitted by sonyso on

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