In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There has been an increasing tendency among individuals to move from the
countryside
to cities
. I consider it a negative development because it has a damaging impact on agricultural production and leads to rising long-scale unemployment
.
First,
if people
who live in rural areas
go to cities
, the local produce will experience an exponential decrease. The economic condition may deteriorate into a crisis because people
in the countryside
are producers and city residents are consumers. For example
, most of the people
who resided in the rural areas
near our town left the countryside
and came to the outskirts of town. The price of dairy had increased because moving to the city caused a shortage of dairy products. People
could not purchase fresh produce and rising prices exacerbated the condition.
Second,
moving away to the cities
play a detrimental role in massive unemployment
. After changing positions to urban areas
, people
usually look for a job and they want to ameliorate their economic well-being. the relocation, which sometimes is indispensable, can cause insurmountable challenges since the government cannot handle the urgent requests for jobs and housing. Take suborn areas
for example
. Most of its residents come from the villages and live in grueling
conditions. Compared to living in the Change the spelling
gruelling
countryside
, they are facing widespread unemployment
, and the range of communal facilities is made up of the lowest level.
In conclusion, although
the relocation of people
from the countryside
to cities
may provide some financial opportunities for them, I take into account this
phenomenon as a negative development that exacerbates unemployment
and decreases the amount of local produce.Submitted by matty.ebadii on
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Task Response
The essay stays on topic, but the arguments could be more thoroughly developed and supported with clearer examples. Make sure to address both sides of the argument and provide a balanced conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit. Try to use more cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The range of vocabulary is adequate, but there are issues with word choice and usage. Work on using more precise and appropriate vocabulary to convey your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
There are grammatical errors and inconsistencies throughout the essay. Pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structures.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite