Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments.

In many parts of the world, there is a growing focus on building houses, and these developments often come at the expense of a city’s natural
environment
,
such
as
parks
and farmlands.
While
this
can help address housing shortages and revitalize areas, the loss of green
spaces
in cities can negatively affect the
environment
and
people
’s mental well-being.
Therefore
, it is a negative
development
overall
. The shortage of housing is one of the biggest problems facing many cities today. Turning underutilized
parks
and farmland into apartment blocks can help meet the increasing demand for housing, especially in
densely-populated
Correct your spelling
densely populated
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areas. The creation of housing can alleviate the housing crises not only by directly offering accommodation to
people
who are willing to buy one
,
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but
also
by increasing the availability of options, which can lead to more affordable housing prices in an area, allowing
people
from low-income backgrounds to get on the property ladder.
Additionally
, the introduction of housing in the form of apartment blocks and skyscrapers often leads to the
overall
development
of the area for the residents.
This
is because with these usually come many more amenities, including shopping malls, playgrounds, recreational facilities, and parking
spaces
. These improvements generally contribute to a higher quality of life.
By contrast
, in many towns, residents often complain about the lack of
such
opportunities, having to commute to access them in another part of the city.
However
, I believe prioritizing urban
development
neglecting
Correct word choice
and neglecting
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the natural
environment
can have some serious repercussions for an area in the long run.
Firstly
, environmental degradation is a major concern, the effects of which are twofold. Once green
spaces
are reduced or completely gone,
this
can lead to the deterioration of air quality. The situation is even worsened by population growth that comes with the increased usage of cars and depletion of natural resources.
Moreover
, the lack or disappearance of green
spaces
can have less obvious but severe effects on
people
. City life has long been associated with increased stress levels, anxiety, and depression in
people
and having access to
parks
and gardens can serve as a perfect counterbalance. If
people
are deprived of these places
due to
urbanization,
this
can have a huge impact on
people
’s mental well-being. In conclusion, there are
the
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potential benefits to the construction of housing at the cost of
parks
and farmlands,
such
as the mitigation of housing problems and improved quality of life. That said, the negative consequences of
such
a
development
are more significant, considering its impact on the
environment
and
people
’s mental health.
Therefore
, urban designers should not disregard the importance of green
spaces
in cities.
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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the task prompt, discussing both the positive and negative aspects of turning parks and farmland into housing developments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened to provide a clearer roadmap for the essay and reinforce the main argument more effectively.
lexical resource
Vary the vocabulary and use more sophisticated lexical resources to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of complex sentence structures and grammatical forms to showcase a higher level of grammatical proficiency.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • population growth
  • housing developments
  • natural habitats
  • air quality
  • recreational areas
  • economic benefits
  • local revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental preservation
  • displacement
  • congestion
  • public services
  • green rooftops
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