Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pupils believe that joint
families'children
Correct your spelling
families
achieve their
drem
Correct your spelling
daily
goals rather than only
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
with their
parents
, am going to say my opinion
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
base
Replace the word
based
show examples
discussion
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on discussion
show examples
with examples through
this
essay.
To begin
with,
ones
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
upon a time
a time
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
whole
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
was growing
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
not only their
parents
and
also
with uncles, aunts, and grandparents during that time they had
recoveried
Correct your spelling
recovered
new technologies needed and
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
out their essential things, the instance, Thomas Alva
Edision
Correct your spelling
Edison
had
Add the particle
had to
show examples
find out
gravity
Add an article
the gravity
show examples
of Earth,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
Bright brothers had found aeroplane. That’s days they had stayed with full satisfaction for living, consuming food, their
developed
Replace the word
development
show examples
and students with goals.
On the other hand
,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
show examples
most of the students live with their
parents
only that's not good for their confidential, supportive, communication skills and some students haven't any goals they study only for their father and mother pushes, for
this
nature how
achieve
Add the particle
to achieve
show examples
their bright career. Rare teenagers live with big families they have been going to their unbelievable career path. Now some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientists and inventors
been
Add a missing verb
have been
show examples
created.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay analysed,
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
the child
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
with their
parents
only or
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
with
parents
, uncles, aunts, and grandparents with some examples.
Submitted by pkobiga on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. It jumps between ideas and fails to organize the arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to provide a clear starting point and summarize the key points at the end.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides some support for the main points, but the examples are not well-developed or coherent.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the task. It fails to provide a clear opinion supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. It jumps between ideas and fails to organize the arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to provide a clear starting point and summarize the key points at the end.
task achievement
The examples provided are not directly relevant to the main points. It is important to choose examples that effectively support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended family
  • support
  • emotional stability
  • diverse experiences
  • perspectives
  • strong bonds
  • sense of belonging
  • multiple caregivers
  • burden
  • balanced parenting
  • find a balance
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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