Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

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Nowadays most
of
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apply
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pupils believe that joint
families'children
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families
achieve their
drem
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daily
goals rather than only
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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with their
parents
, am going to say my opinion
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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base
Replace the word
based
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discussion
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on discussion
show examples
with examples through
this
essay.
To begin
with,
ones
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once
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upon a time
a time
Remove the redundancy
apply
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whole
childrent
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children
was growing
with
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up with
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not only their
parents
and
also
with uncles, aunts, and grandparents during that time they had
recoveried
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recovered
new technologies needed and
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
out their essential things, the instance, Thomas Alva
Edision
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Edison
had
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had to
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find out
gravity
Add an article
the gravity
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of Earth,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
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Bright brothers had found aeroplane. That’s days they had stayed with full satisfaction for living, consuming food, their
developed
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development
show examples
and students with goals.
On the other hand
,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
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most of the students live with their
parents
only that's not good for their confidential, supportive, communication skills and some students haven't any goals they study only for their father and mother pushes, for
this
nature how
achieve
Add the particle
to achieve
show examples
their bright career. Rare teenagers live with big families they have been going to their unbelievable career path. Now some
of
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apply
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scientists and inventors
been
Add a missing verb
have been
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created.
In
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This
show examples
this
essay analysed,
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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the child
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
with their
parents
only or
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
with
parents
, uncles, aunts, and grandparents with some examples.
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. It jumps between ideas and fails to organize the arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to provide a clear starting point and summarize the key points at the end.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides some support for the main points, but the examples are not well-developed or coherent.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the task. It fails to provide a clear opinion supported by relevant examples.
task achievement
The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. It jumps between ideas and fails to organize the arguments effectively.
task achievement
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to provide a clear starting point and summarize the key points at the end.
task achievement
The examples provided are not directly relevant to the main points. It is important to choose examples that effectively support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended family
  • support
  • emotional stability
  • diverse experiences
  • perspectives
  • strong bonds
  • sense of belonging
  • multiple caregivers
  • burden
  • balanced parenting
  • find a balance
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