It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and should not be offered with a secondary education as anyway they will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#children #countries #level #unemployment #education #job #future

There

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain debates in less

economic

Change the adjective

economically

show examples

developed countries with

high

Add an article

a high

the high

show examples

rate of unemployment on the issue of

education

. Some people think that young people must be provided primary basic knowledge whilst others suggest they should not allow adult higher

education

. I completely disagree with

this

argument. First and foremost,

primary

Correct article usage

the primary

show examples

basic level is not a qualification to be in the world of paid work. Nowadays , the employment sectors require a qualified employer to have a course, bachelor's degree or master's degree. Take

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, doctors , lawyers,

accountants

Correct word choice

and accountants

show examples

these professions demand high educational levels with distinction to get a

well paying

Add a hyphen

well-paying

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job. So if youngsters remained at elementary school, they

are

Wrong verb form

would be

show examples

able to read and write only but they lack knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

any type of work because these young ones have never learnt about it. I believe

further

education

should be recommended because it

enlighten

Change the verb form

enlightens

show examples

young people to have a direction of what they want to achieve in life. There is no way you can go without

education

In addition

education

eradicate

Change the verb form

eradicates

show examples

joblessness in poor countries. Children should be given primary

education

and

then

high school

education

equally. They should experience university life and enter into the workforce to gain capacity building and training during apprenticeship or internship.

Hence

improving their skills and empowering them to reduce poverty. I think young ones must be provided

all

Add the preposition

with all

show examples

levels of

education

such

that they can be able to learn and concentrate

into

Change preposition

show examples

their jobs

thus

decreasing unemployment. In conclusion, job qualification is a must for a child to have through

further

studies and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

education

can uproot poverty and

unemplyment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

Submitted by ymhariwa on Sat Nov 11 2023

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lexical resource

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grammatical range

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and should not be offered with a secondary education as anyway they will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Fully explain your ideas

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In many western countries there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What advantages and disadvantages to couples no children

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

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